Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A+ | 241 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT In Which Everyone's Pretty And Nothing Hurts
By Cindy McLennan | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 2013.03.28
The whole thing is so gross that I really have to gloss over it. At some point, Klaus has a temper tantrum. Caroline apologizes at first, but then thinks better of it. With great force, she rips the clippers from his back and says, "You know what, I'm not sorry. You deserve to suffer for everything that you've done, so today, we're gonna do things my way. You want my help? You let Tyler come back to town and give me your word that you will not hurt him." We cut to...
Willoughby. Gazebo. Using Katherine's phone, Stefan calls Elijah, who is watching from a covered alleyway across the street. When Elijah asks where Katherine is, Stefan asks where Elena is. Elijah says she is, "...safe. How long she remains so depends upon you." Stefan says, "Well, I guess the same goes for Katherine." Elijah says Katherine can handle herself where the two (Salvatores) are concerned. Stefan corrects him. "Oh, you mean the three of us, 'cause little sister decided to join Team Good Guys for the time being." My poor, handsome Elijah is alarmed, because he hasn't been around enough lately to realize there is no longer such a thing as Team Good Guys. Everyone totally sucks. Except Elijah.
Elijah licks his lips. The fandom passes out. When we recover, we hear Elijah tell Stefan to, "Put her on the phone." Stefan says Rebekah is with Damon and Katherine. Elijah demands to know where they are. Stefan tells him, "Relax. No one's going to get hurt, as long as Katherine hands over the cure." Elijah says Rebekah despises Kiki. She'll kill her the moment she's no longer useful. Stefan wants to meet and talk "this" through. Elijah ignores him. "You listen to me very carefully, Stefan. If anything whatsoever happens to Katherine, I will descend upon Elena." He hangs up the phone.
Elena tells Elijah, "You're both idiots." Elijah: "Excuse me?" Elena: "Ugh. What happened to you, Elijah? I thought you were supposed to be a man of honor, and yet you've been hooking up with Katherine this entire time?" Elijah supposes he has always shared a connection with Kiki. I think it's the awesomeness connection. Elijah doesn't comment on that, because he's too modest. Instead, he tells Elena, "She contacted me when she learned about the cure. We thought we could be of mutual use to one another."
Elena laughs that Elijah fell for the Katherine-trap like the rest of the idiots. Somewhere, Stefan and Damon feel the shout-out, but don't know its origin. Elijah turns to face Elena. "You underestimate me, Elena. I know who she is. I know what she's done." Elena insists Katherine is playing him and lying to him. Elijah notes she didn't lie about Elena's transformation. "You're not just a vampire though, are you? There's something else. You're not yourself. You've abandoned your emotions. Why?" Elena's voice is flat as she answers, "My brother is dead. Your girlfriend killed him." Elena is surprised at Elijah's shock. I wonder if he knows she and Jeremy killed Kol. I hope not, because otherwise, it should have come up, right? As Elijah tries to come to terms with Katherine's deceit, Elena rubs her "I told you so," in his face, and tops it off with a, "Duh," which is probably not all that effective on a 1,000 year old immortal. We cut to...