Episode Report Card Pamie: A- | 16 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Jess Is a Tool
By Pamie | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 2002.02.26
Very loud music inside of Luke's apartment. Jess is sound asleep. Luke puts down his baby television (shout-out to Tubey?), and wonders how anyone can sleep through that noise. He finishes his monologue to nobody and accidentally knocks over the tiny TV, probably breaking it. Luke freaks out and starts cursing, throwing clothes all over the place. Jess wakes up and tells Luke to relax. Luke can't relax. He has a tiny claustrophobic freak-out. He says he's having nightmares of getting chased around by boxes that pile clothing on top of him, choking him with packing tape. Jess asks if he should be putting a tongue depressor in Luke's mouth right about now. Luke says that they have to find a new place to live. He announces that tomorrow morning Jess must be up, washed, moussed, and ready to leave. He tells Jess to get back to bed. Jess says he can't sleep with the music off. Luke blares the music again and leaves. What day is it that he can just go apartment hunting tomorrow? And how many apartments could there be in Stars Hollow?
Luke and Jess leave apartment #1. Jess hates it because it's pink. Luke says they can paint it. Jess knows that means he'll be the one painting it. Luke says they can paint it together. "Great. Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards," Jess says. Luke asks which one Jess liked. Jess said he liked the one before. Luke points out that it had a cat and carpeting, which means the apartment will always smell like a cat, whereas the pink apartment doesn't always have to be pink. Jess says he liked the apartment near the bank, but Luke thinks that one had too many windows, which will make the apartment feel like a furnace at 3 PM when the sun comes through the apartment windows. Jess says they can get curtains. Luke says Jess will have to help Luke put them up. "Great. Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards," Jess says again. Luke says he's not picking the new apartment without Jess. Jess says that he doesn't care which one Luke picks, and doesn't really have a problem with the current place. He says he's supposed to go help Lorelai with the gutters. Luke tells him to go ahead and offers to take some Polaroids of the next few apartments. Jess tells him to paint a still life while he's at it. He says he never asked to live in Stars Hollow, but he does, and it really doesn't matter to him where he has to live.