Episode Report Card LuluBates: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Family Feud
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.21.2001
After the commercial, the scene cuts back to before a shot is fired. Max knocks the gun out of Mini-Max's hand. They fighty fight for awhile, and they're encumbered by bad editing, but Max eventually overpowers herself and breaks her arm. Zack comes up and grabs her, and they run off to the van and join up with Krit, Syl, Logan, and Lydecker. They can't believe they did it. They took down Manticore! The bad editing makes me suspicious, but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief for now. No, really, I am. They head back to Seattle. Okay, wait. Wasn't Manticore in Wyoming? Am I all confused again? José? Care to clear this up? Any of you forum posters able to explain this one? Hmm. Anyway, they go to their little bar to celebrate their victory. Max's hair looks clean and curly while she and Original Cindy play foosball. But in the next scene when she heads to the bar for a pitcher of beer, her hair is greasy again. There must be some nasty air in that bar. Sketch is hitting on Syl. Lydecker's drinking water and reading a book. Jessica Alba's brother is talking to Logan. Aw, introducing the family to the fiancé. And -- what? Herbal and Zack talking about the meaning of life? This is so stupid that it had better be a dream sequence. Max comes up to Logan and says she wants to get out of there. They do it. It's all dimly lit and brief skin shots and, and, well, sorry, this girl reporter gets embarrassed at the slightest thing and had to leave the room. Maybe somebody from the forums will recap that scene. I can tell you that Max does not ask, "Is that a exoskeleton in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" And I can also say that there's some serious coitus interruptus when that damn crow flies in and interrupts their horizontal hokey-pokey. Logan looks at his hand, and it's covered with blood. And I will avoid that one like a good girl should. Max starts to freak out. What's going on?
The tape rewinds to the scene of the shooting. Mini-Max really took her out. She's been shot. Logan, on the other side of the walkie-talkie, realizes something's wrong. He heads out of the van. Meanwhile, Zack is surrounded by those rambunctious X7s. Those pesky kids! Logan finds Max in the woods. She's dying. He swoops her up in his arms, and they share a moment. She wants to tell him something, but she's dying. By the way, I sincerely hope the edge of your seat is comfortable. 'Cause I'm sure you're all perched there, dying to know if Max dies or not. 'Cause she's not the star of the show or anything. And the show didn't just get picked up for a second season. Nope, nothing like that. Back to the action, where Max says she should have told Logan something a long time ago, but she dies before she can tell him what it is. He is distraught. By the way, Max has some lovely blue eyeshadow on during this scene. It's nice to see that the army cares about the appearance of their little soldiers. So, Max is dead. Lydecker rushes up and sees Logan holding her body and rocking back and forth. He says that Logan has to let her go, she's gone. Logan is not listening so well right now, so Lydecker decks him and carts him back to the van. He informs Krit and Syl that Max is "K.I.A.," which I gather means "Kooky Intrepid Afghan."
Max is rushed into the emergency room at Manticore. Her heart has stopped. They need to crack her ribcage open in order to use the internal heart paddles. Have I mentioned that Max is really good at lying there and looking dead? Talented actress. Every time they shock her, she gets a flashback, not of evil Camp Manticore footage, but of happy times: making out with Logan, hanging out with OC, making out with Logan, that sort of thing. Zack gets brought into the ER and sees that Max is faring poorly. He hears what the doctor says about her ventricle being shredded. Then he hears Nana say that as long as no other organs were injured, they should prepare her for harvesting. Nasty bitch, ain't she? Zack freaks out, tears off his restraints, kills a guard, and grabs Nana by her bitch hair. He holds a gun to her head and tells the doctor to save Max. Do a transplant, he demands. The doctor points out that they don't have any hearts to transplant. Zack holds the gun up to Nana's head and tells the doctor to use her heart. Wait, wait -- Zack thinks Nana has a heart? Huh. Nana points out that X5s need X5 hearts, like Klingons need Klingon hearts. Zack shoves Nana away, points the gun at his head, and tells them to use his, then. Ew. Why didn't he take out Nana first? Well, it's obvious he wasn't thinking too clearly.