Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT And I Think It's Gonna Be A Long, Long Time
By Al Lowe | Season 7 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2006.09.26
Miss Patty does the honors of waving him off the starting line, in the style of Cha Cha DiGregorio, and Kirk revs his engine and blows through the red light. The camera's flash, however, is amazingly powerful and, blinded by the light, Kirk weaves the car all over the road, veers sharply and crashes through the front of Luke's diner! Even though he could have killed everyone in Stars Hollow, no one is hurt -- not even Kirk. "I'm OKAY!" he screams, leaping from the wreckage, and the whole town rushes to the scene.
Speaking of rushing, that's just what Rory has done to get home and tell Lorelai the whole story. She apologizes for refusing so many times to see any of The Fast And The Furious movies and announces that she has now come to understand the awesomeness of cars crashing into things. She tells the whole story of Kirk's drive into the diner while Lorelai listens with horror. Rory is describing Kirk's Evel Knievel exit from the car, when she realizes that Lorelai has been sorting a bunch of stuff into piles in the living room. She says she's just getting more of Luke's things together. "This is Luke's?" Rory asks, picking up a camo mini skirt which I would love to see Scott Patterson wear. Lorelai says no, it's hers, but that she wore it when she went to see Jarhead with Luke. It brings back romantic memories for her, apparently, because she was wearing it when she threw up movie theater hot dogs in the parking lot and Luke held her hair. Nice. Rory is suitably moved. She throws the skirt into the reminds-me-of-Luke pile, across from the Luke's-stuff pile. "What's that pile?" Rory asks about a third stack. "Those," Lorelai explains, "are Babette's intimates."
Rory goes through the piles growing more alarmed when she sees that Lorelai is getting rid of Bop It. You'd think she'd be thrilled about that, considering that the game turns Luke into a violent abuser. She picks up a spatula, wondering why Lorelai would throw that out as well, and makes a sad face, saying it must be because Luke used to make her breakfast. "Oh, he did," Lorelai says, "but that's not why I'm getting rid of it -- although now that you mention it, the waffle iron has got to be dumped." Lorelai explains that the spatula has got to go because one night, when she and Luke were having a disagreement, they further disagreed over whether the disagreement was a spat or a fight. She said the former, he insisted on the latter. She proved her point, however, when she explained to him that fight cannot be diffused in the moment, but that a spat can easily be diffused with the use of a...spatula. Is your heart breaking? Mine, too. But, you know, Lauren Graham's heart... not so much. I don't know how to explain it, but I am not feeling her like, feel this whole breakup. Shouldn't she be crying, at some point? Don't get me wrong, I love the actress so much I think she should have a ninety-five Emmys. I think, as a matter of fact, she should have so many, they rename the Emmys the Grahammys. Get it? COME ON. Okay, fine. But what I'm saying is, she's always so awesome and in this episode, I expected crying. Or at least some personal horror over the Christopher angle.