Episode Report Card Kim: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Abduction
By Kim | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.14.2002
Paris. Sark, disguised as a cop, spots the van they assume is carrying the terminal, and radios Syd to tell her that the convoy is on the move. He follows the van. Syd stands on a bridge, disguised as a construction worker. She gets Sark's message, and whips out a laptop and starts typing away. Sark says, "It's a pity we're traveling separately. We could have used the time to get to know each other better." Syd snarks, "Yeah, I'm pretty broken up about that too." Meanwhile, shut up, Sark! Shouldn't you be concentrating on the mission? Sark says he's surprised that she's been able to contain her curiosity, given that he worked with her mother for many years, and even thinks of Irina as a mother himself. Ew -- that would make him Syd's brother, and yet he's still hitting on her. Syd tells him that they have nothing in common, and will never be friends. Sark asks if he gets any consideration for not telling Sloane that Syd tried to kill him. Syd reminds him that he can't give her up without blowing his own cover, and since she's almost hacked into the traffic control network, he needs to "get [his] head into the game." You tell him, Syd!
Jack goes to Irina's cell. She walks over and stands in front of him, and asks how his wounds are healing. I'm guessing she means both literally and figuratively. Jack ignores the question and says that she had a chance to betray them in Kashmir, and didn't. Irina guesses he still doesn't trust her. Jack carefully chooses his words: "Our previous…dealings would indicate that your strategy here may be long-term, so for now I trust that your behavior is predictable." Irina asks if "dealings" is code for "marriage." As if it just occurred to her, Irina points out that they might technically still be husband and wife. Jack gives her a look like, "Don't go there," and Irina apologizes. Jack tells her that Syd is on assignment with Sark, and he thinks Irina and Sark are still in cahoots -- that they are coordinating their efforts to infiltrate both SD-6 and the CIA. Jack assures her that her plans won't work, so he's going to offer her a deal. He will arrange for her to be relocated to a private residence on Puget Sound, where she'll be under twenty-four-hour surveillance, but have the illusion of freedom. In exchange, she will confess and tell them what she's really doing there, and why she turned herself in. Irina is silent, and Jack says he'll give her time to consider his offer, then walks away. Now, surely Jack could have arranged for her to go to a private residence that wasn't so far away. Why does he want Irina far from Syd? Interesting.
Back in Paris, Syd sees the transport van approaching and Sark's car not far behind. She tells Sark that she's turning the light red, and then does. The van stops just below the bridge on which Syd is standing. Syd pulls a large metal object out of a duffel bag. Flashback to Marshall: "It's two-for-one day here at Marshall's Tech Emporium. Not only is this magnetic shape charge capable of penetrating two meters of armored steel, but act now, it will also come equipped with a secondary tear gas munitions which will disable the guards inside the truck. Operators standing by! Hello?" I had to transcribe that speech because A) it was funny and B) I had no idea what most of it meant. In Paris, Sark exits his car and tells Syd he's moving in to disable the escort car. Syd drops the magnetic shape charge onto the top of the armored transport. Sark pulls out a gun and fires a tear gas bullet into the escort car. The magnetic shape charge explodes and blows a hole in the top of the truck. Syd waits for the shrapnel to fall, and then zip-wires down into the truck, wearing a gas mask. Once inside, she looks around, but doesn't find anything. Some cops come after Sark, but he shoots them, hopefully with tranquilizer darts. It didn't sound like a real bullet anyway. Syd hops out of the back of the truck and tells Sark that the truck is empty and the terminal was not inside. Sark realizes that the truck is a decoy. A guy hops out of the escort car carrying a briefcase, and Syd chases him. Traffic is completely stopped in both directions. Syd climbs up on the parked cars and leaps from vehicle to vehicle. At one point, she executes a very Bionic Woman-style leap. Finally, she catches up to the guy and leaps from a nearby car roof, executing a perfect scissor kick to the head to knock him out. She grabs the briefcase. Sark squeals up and tells her to get in the car. She does, and they take off. How he managed to get a car out of that traffic jam is another question entirely, but I find it's best not to question these things.