Episode Report Card Kim: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Abduction
By Kim | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.14.2002
Jack walks into Sloane's office and is introduced to Faye Dunaway. The character's name is Ariana Kane, but like anyone can think of her as anything but Faye Dunaway. Or Joan Crawford. Sloane explains that Faye is the head of Alliance counterintelligence, and she "plugged the leak last year at SD-9." Jack has heard of Faye's work, and points out that the guilty party tried to frame Faye as the mole. Faye says that men always call women crazy when they're caught with their pants down. So she's a ball-breaker, then. Why am I not surprised? It's not exactly casting against type. Sloane says that Faye is there to investigate Emily's disappearance and the subsequent blackmail attempts. Sloane tells Faye that Jack knows everything. Faye has heard that Jack is a master strategist, and wonders where he would begin the investigation. Jack says he'd begin with himself, because Sloane has told him everything he would need to know to do it, plus, if Sloane's standing with the Alliance were undermined, Jack would be a candidate to inherit Sloane's job.
Faye thinks that's "a hell of an answer" because it's true, but it's also the only thing Jack can say to "diminish [his] viability as a suspect." I tried to figure out what in the hell kind of accent Faye was going for here, and then I realized that she's not doing an accent -- she's unable to move her upper lip at all. Botox? I don't know, but try talking without moving your upper lip and you'll sound just like her. Jack says that Faye is aware of game theory, which would invalidate his approach, so the best course of action he can take is to tell the truth. Faye looks at Sloane like, "Ooh, feisty." Sloane nods back like, "Oh, if you only knew." Sloane tells Faye that as soon as Jack is eliminated as a suspect, he'll be happy to assist her. Jack agrees, and excuses himself. Faye thinks the whole thing over. Or maybe she's still futilely trying to move her upper lip.
Will and Vaughn meet. Will says that he's been having that dream where you're at school and they won't let you graduate because you failed a test. Vaughn explains that the test isn't for general knowledge, because it's just a psych profile. Will jokes that he can't fail, but he can find out that he's a sociopath. I just know they're leading up to some big Will revelation this season, but I cannot figure out what it is. And it's killing me. Vaughn tells Will that some of the test questions may be shocking, "like things you might punch someone out at a bar for asking." That must be a guy thing, because I would never punch someone out at a bar for asking a question. Unless they asked me to punch them out. Even then, I don't know that I would. Will asks what happens if he does okay on the test. Vaughn says Will will be cleared to read classified documents and given a government salary, which isn't much. Will reminds him that compared to his current situation, it's champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Vaughn tells Will to be honest, because if he's caught in a lie, he'll be automatically disqualified. Hmm. You think that might come up later? Vaughn explains that SD-6 might still be following Will, so he has to take the test somewhere other than a federal building. Vaughn explains the procedure as we see Will enter a post office and go into a back room to take the test.