Episode Report Card Demian: C- | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Charmed Again, Part The First
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.03.2001
Credits. The credits themselves are abrupt and off-putting. A jangly guitar whines out a couple of dissonant chords as the show's title appears over a glowy triquatra. I do hope they're back to something resembling normal by next week. I've grown disturbingly fond of "How Soon Is Now?" and I need my comfort TV. Oh, Christ. Did I just call this show "comfort TV"? It's time for Paxil, people.
Auugh! It's Stevie. Fucking. Nicks. The cokehead freak warbles something about "missing you" on the soundtrack as we get the obligatory "Morning in San Francisco" travelogue under the real opening credits. Much to the delight of the gang on the forum boards, while Alyssa's name now appears first, Holly Marie Combs gets the coveted "and" spot at the end of the list. We finally hit the Manor and head inside, where Phoebe is trying to find space for yet another floral tribute in the hall. Floral tributes are so Princess Diana and Columbine. Can't these people donate money to an appropriate Wiccan charity organization instead? Phoebe crosses into the parlor to ask Victor "Big Daddy" Bennett if she can get him anything. From his somber slump in an overstuffed easy chair, he tells her he's fine. She heads back into the hallway to futz with some more plants. Enter the Dolt, who emerges from the kitchen with the Colethazor in tow. "Look who's back," he announces brightly. Phoebe clomps over to hug Cole while breathily intoning his name in that irritating way of hers. Seems Cole's been hiding out since the events of the cliff-hanging finale, as The Source has set "every demonic bounty hunter" he can find on Cole's tantalizing ass. Get used to the phrase "demonic bounty hunter," by the way, as Brad Kern has seen fit to shove it in Cole's mouth this evening whenever he can't come up with something else for the guy to say. Also, get used to the phrase "tantalizing ass," for his ass is indeed a thing of beauty. Phoebe's glad Cole will be able to attend Prue's funeral, but he tells her he can't. He doesn't want to run the risk of those demonic bounty hunters ruining all the fun. Phoebe insists that the remaining Halliwells can protect him. Cole and the Dolt needlessly remind her and the rest of us that without Prue and the Power of Three, Phoebe and Piper are for all intents and purposes useless. Phoebe's not having that, and tells Cole he needs to be there for her sake.
All of this non-touching blather is cut short by the appearance of Detective Darryl Morris at the manor door. Phoebe thanks him for coming. Darryl tells her that the department has assigned a different inspector to investigate Prue's "case." The Dolt wonders why an investigation is necessary. Darryl duhs that "Prue and a prominent doctor were murdered. People want answers." Oh, yeah. The "prominent doctor." If I cared about him, I'd look up his name. Anyway, moving on: The new inspector is some kind of Energizer Bunny of the department, and Darryl's worried that he might end up exposing the remaining Ps as witches. Cole's not terribly concerned, but the Dolt is, as this plot point was beaten to death last season. Along with Prue. Heh. Big Daddy, meanwhile, has emerged from the parlor to take offense at the tone of the conversation. "Do you people mind?" he demands. "We're burying my daughter today. Can't this wait?" Um, Big Daddy? Now, I realize I just started watching this show last season, but didn't you desert your wife and kids and disappear for twenty years? And when you initially returned, wasn't it to profit in some way from your daughters' inheritance? And despite the hint of a reconciliation last season, didn't you still have, at best, a strained relationship with the deceased? Yeah, thought so. Shut it. Anyway, Phoebe tosses a little glare of guilt at Cole. If you pause the tape in the right spot, her irises disappear, making Alyssa look like Satan. Phoebe crosses to Big Daddy for a hug.