Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Apocalypse Not
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.10.2000
The Taco Bell Chihuahua continues to be offensive to Mexicans in particular and anyone with comic sensibility in general.
Alleyway. The Ts have disappeared. Phoebe and Piper stand there alone. Piper freaks out over Prue's disappearance. Phoebe doesn't think that Prue is dead, just "sent someplace." She comforts Piper and suggests that they head home to figure out what to do. Phoebe: "We have Leo, the Book [of Shadows], and each other. We can save Prue. There's gotta be a way."
Office Building. We see an incredibly bad painting of the Four Horsemen in capes on horseback in a huge purple cloud. Someone's used a metal cutter to remove this thing off the side of a 1973 Chevy van and mount it in this hallway. Yellow Tie and Green Tie argue about Orange Tie's disappearance as they walk past. Black Tie yells a bit, too. What we get is a lot of boring exposition about the Horsemen having to find Orange Tie so that they're all together when the world's supposed to end the next evening. If they don't succeed, the "Source" will kill them and choose four others to be the "Anointed Ones" who must destroy the world. There's a big control room set up with a bunch of televisions and menials on telephone headsets and number tally displays. It's supposed to be a sophisticated "end-of-the-world" command center, but so little money was spent on the set that it resembles a PBS pledge drive. The scene winds down as the Ts walk past a television set showing stock footage of riots, warfare, disasters, et cetera. None of these scenes is half as scary as the shots of the Paula Cole concert at P3AD. Then the screen goes black except for an Apocalypse count-down clock in the right corner, counting off the seconds until the Rapture. Whatever.
Halliwell Manor. Attic. The docile Ps enter. Leo's waiting there. He and Piper embrace. Phoebe asks him if he found anything in the BoS. He hasn't found any info on the four men the Ps described. And he's still wearing his tan duster. Hey, take off your coat, babe, and stay awhile. Phoebe suggests they look under "Botched Vanquishes." Leo insists that he's been through the book cover to cover. Piper, still distraught, wants him to confirm that Prue's not dead. Leo holds his tongue. Piper: "Phoebe tells me to hope, now you're telling me there isn't any? I just need to know!" Then we hear chime music and see curtains blowing around. Piper shudders. She tells Phoebe and Leo that Prue just "went right through" her. Phoebe asks if she's "like the wind." Dear Lord, please remove that Patrick Swayze song that just entered my head. Eternally grateful, Owen. Piper elaborates that Prue "spoke to" her; she's alive. Phoebe wonders if this means Prue is "a spirit." Leo interprets this to mean that Prue is "on another plane, trying to break through." Phoebe starts wailing out Prue's name, wondering if she's still there. The docile Ps see the marker on the spirit board (remember: the actresses cannot pronounce the word "Ouija") move. It spells out H-E-L-P. Phoebe reads this aloud for the radio audience. Then she suddenly doubles over while shuddering in the same manner as Piper. The camera sweeps in for a sweeps-month deep cleavage shot. Piper wonders if Pheebs had contact with Prue, too. Phoebe: "No. Something else. Evil. Cold." Just then, this transparent, amorphous F/X blob floats in through the window. Piper asks, "What is that?" Prue's face briefly appears in the blob. So we know it's Prue-amecium. Then a similar floating blob appears with Orange Tie's face on it. Horseman-ecium chases Prue-amecium very slowly around the room. This is a chore to sit through, but easier going once I realize that an alternative might have been the padding of the show's running time with more Paula Cole footage. The blobs both fly out the window. Leo: "She's alive, but she's in trouble." He says that they have to find out where the other "suits" are. Piper gets all bossy and demands of Leo, "Ask your bosses, whoever they are or whatever they are, who those guys are and how we can get my sister back. NOW! ORB! FASTER!!!" She not only wags her finger during this harangue, but also claps her hands to dismiss him. Leo orbs off but quick. And who wouldn't? Phoebe decides to get busy by looking up "wind" in the BoS. Piper harshes on her for her stupidity. Hee. Phoebe: "Can you think of anything else?" Piper, flustered, waves her arms around and suggests, "Mist?" Hee again.
Horsemen Headquarters. Yellow Tie's research into Orange Tie's whereabouts has been fruitless. A menial with cropped, bleached, Billy-with-a-brain-tumor-on-Ally hair tells Black Tie that they're "losing ground" on the "war" front. BT pitches a fit that his plans are going awry. He vows to take the Halliwells down for revenge. As the Ts start to leave the control room, BT sees a TV start to play stock footage of war scenes. He thinks that Orange Tie -- also known as "War" -- is trying to contact them. BT assures OT in the TV that they will "punish the witches." OT sends a "cease fire" message. The Ts need to work with the Ps; the witches will be needed to free him from the vortex. BT wonders how to find them. OT tells him to ask the Source.