Episode Report Card DeAnn Welker: D- | 264 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT To Stalk Or Be Stalked
By DeAnn Welker | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2009.09.28
Claire's reading a Biology book when someone knocks on her door. She actually gets up and answers it, starting to tell Gretchen she's tried to tell her... when she sees it's her dad. She's like, "What are you doing here?" But he reminds her that, "Hey, Dad. Thanks for bringing the housewarming presents" is a better greeting. He holds up the presents -- a fake fish tank and what appears to be a blanket or sleeping bag -- as Claire mockingly repeats what he just said. They hug and he tries to talk to her about her roommate, Annie, killing herself. Claire's sad about that, but she also misses her family. Even Lyle. Bennett wants to grab some lunch, and Claire agrees but thinks she should go get pretty first. Claire, you're on TV. The people in hair and makeup have already made sure you look pretty. Just go with him. Don't create a situation where you have to run into Gretchen to bring her into the scene. No one likes her. Not even you. Trust your gut on this. Bennett agrees, at least about the part where she already looks pretty.
She doesn't listen, though, of course (this is Claire), and next thing we know she's brushing her teeth. Which I'll point out is not the same thing as making yourself pretty. If she'd said she wanted to brush her teeth, I wouldn't have protested, because I haven't smelled her breath, and it might be quite bad. A guy walks by wrapped in a towel, presumably because she's in the boys' bathroom to avoid seeing her stalker. We get a close-up of her toothpaste spit and then Gretchen's voice: "So, this is your plan?" She's standing behind Claire and asks if she's just going to avoid her. Man, how I wish she would. Claire says she's not, and Gretchen stutters that she's amazed that Claire's even going to avoid admitting she's avoiding her. Gretchen's like, "So we're not going to talk about this?" Claire says she didn't see whatever she thinks she saw, and Gretchen spells it out for those of us who not only missed the last episode, but also the previouslies: "So, I didn't see you hurl yourself off the building and then push your bones back into place?" Claire says that's right, only not really, because she did test out the jump, push, fall thing, and it turns out Annie killed herself. Wow, Claire's a bad liar, what with the ADMITTING IT.
Claire storms back into her dorm room, and Gretchen follows her, and gets all sweet when she sees HRG. He wonders who Claire's friend is, and Claire introduces her. HRG invites Gretchen to lunch, to which Claire just says he doesn't have to do that and she's sure Gretchen has an art history paper due tomorrow, right? Gretchen says she does, but she's finished it. And she's starving. She smiles sweetly, so HRG doesn't know what a creepy stalker she is.