Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Have it your way or the highway
By Miss Alli | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.19.2005
Now, Net Worth meets with the BK VP. They share their "Wanted: Dead or Alive" idea, and says they're giving away the trip. "And you're able to fund that?" the guy asks. "Absolutely," John says confidently. As if to underscore this, they call a person I guess is a travel agent, directly from the VP's office. It sounds like the guy quotes Tana a price of $201, which I assume has to be per ticket? Or something? Anyway, she finds out that he'll be "open" until 10:00 PM, so they can come pick up the tickets. We then follow Kristen and Tana on this little trip, and it turns out that the travel agent works out of his apartment, where he lives with his little dog. Kristen disapproves of buying things out of people's apartments. And...yeah, maybe, but with plane tickets...I mean, I buy all my plane tickets out of my own apartment at this point. Why couldn't I buy them from someone else's? Now, the part where the dog pees on Tana's foot, I'm a little more sympathetic about. Because that's no fun. I think they're happy to leave.
Danny and Stephanie are in the weeds, marketing-wise. Danny tells us that he's "the out-of-the-box guy," and he's looking for something great, and he always pushes himself, blah blah blah. He comes up with the words "Triple Play," and then they call Todd to tell him that the theme will be baseball, around the idea of a triple play. Todd loves it. He interviews that he put his faith in Danny and Stephanie, and they ultimately delivered. Or at least they delivered something. And Todd thinks the triple play is "a brilliant concept." Listen. Listen! Hear it? Todd's head: "[Faint whistle.]"
Todd then conducts a meeting at the BK, voicing over that the team is very united right now, and they're all working to win the task. And believe it or not, there's another team cheer. Of "UNBELIEVABLE!" I'm starting to understand how crowds used to do things like set hunchbacks' mansions on fire.
Net Worth holds a meeting with the existing staff of the BK, and John starts with what I think is a pretty good line of discussion by asking how many of the crew members have graduated from college. Predictably, none. "Well, guess what. None of us have, either," he says. He gives a pep talk about how they have to kick the asses of the "doctorate, MBA, Harvard, crazy education" (not) types who are working down the street. He says they'll have some fun proving that the smarty-pants types aren't as smart as they think.
Erin opens her register, and guess what? Hands on the hips! Just like she was told not to do. She absorbs everything. And nothing. Anyway, she says to the first guy, "I bet you're here to try our triple-cheese Angus steak burger, right?" "No," he says. "Whopper and [something]." It sounds like he says "toast," but I'm pretty sure they don't serve toast at Burger King. Maybe I'm wrong. Several people come in and don't order the triple-cheese, but finally someone does. And when he does, they all cheer and blow a whistle and stuff. Wow, that would completely freak me out and annoy me, I think. I don't think I'm in favor of being shrieked at while ordering. It makes me nervous. Alex says that as of this point, they were "feeling optimistic." But then he looked over at the promotional scheme. Now, if you've ever been to a junior-high carnival, you know basically what this looks like. Danny and Stephanie are out on the sidewalk, and they have a big piece of cardboard set up with a hole in it, and you're supposed to throw the ball through the hole. And it looks just that sophisticated. Also, Danny is walking around with his guitar. It isn't clear what you get if you put the ball through the hole, or why you'd want to do this. Alex describes himself as "horrified." He thinks the whole thing "looks like a bunch of drunk hippies." Not a bad description, sad as it is. Carolyn, too, is watching with some evident horror. "This is sad," she says. "This is very sad." Kendra interviews that she thinks that when Todd saw how shitty the promotion outside was, he should have had another plan, or intervened, or something. Because it's that bad. It really is. "Come on now, and try it," Danny sings. Twice. Wow, what compelling lyrics. I haven't heard their equal since "This ever-changing world in which we live in."