Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Have it your way or the highway
By Miss Alli | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.19.2005
Over at Net Worth, John is suggesting that if they're selling a Western burger, they make "Wanted: Dead or Alive" posters. He wants Tara to find a place to do cheap flyers. Brian tells us that he thinks John's doing very well as PM. Well, sure. He's got the balls. John also tells the team he thinks they should give something away as a promotion, and Tana suggests two tickets to Vegas. John goes for it, so at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon, it will be prize time.
Brian, Kristen, Angie, and Tara head out to, as Brian explains, "buy balloons and cowboy costumes." And why? Because he knows what things cost. Because he used to own a dollar store. For some reason, that made me laugh hysterically. "I know what things cost. That costs...a dollar. And that? Oh, also a dollar." At the dollar-like store they find, Brian asks for "bagged cowboy suits." Who knew? But there they are, the bagged cowboy suits. They buy a bunch of stuff, including balloons and bandannas and whatnot, and it all comes to just under $200. And even though it kind of has nothing to do with anything, Brian wants the guy to throw in a plastic Viking hat. Just because. Angie, in an interview, seems impressed that the guy threw in the Viking hat for nothing. Brian is a great negotiator, provided the booty he wants is worth about twelve cents. "Now that's negotiation, baby!" he yells as he's leaving. Yeah. You really scored on that one, dude. Kristen is totally disgusted in her interview, because they're here to do a job, and you can't do a job if you like plastic Viking hats. She is no fun at all. "If that's why you're here, you're not going to be here for very long," she snots. I don't think he would go so far as to say he's here because of the plastic Viking hat. The plastic Viking hat is a bonus. As random Viking hats usually are.
Elsewhere, Danny and Stephanie go to meet with the BK guy to talk about marketing. They talk about the triple-cheese burger, and the BK guy is a little sad that they don't have a name for it other than "triple-cheese Angus steak burger." And then the guy asks, "Who's your customer?" And Danny has no answer. Now, dude. I know about as much about marketing as I do about jai-alai, and I would have had some answer to "Who's your customer?" before I met with the VP of product development. This is basically what Stephanie says in an interview -- she thinks they just weren't ready to do this meeting at the time they did it, so it went kind of badly. Danny waffles about how they haven't had the chance to do as much market research as they'd like, and so forth. Danny also says that the slogan they're currently thinking of is, "Just Say Cheese." Which has some promise, I think. "That...that could be okay," says the BK guy with absolutely no enthusiasm. He calls his "certainly a straight-ahead concept," which is kind of like telling people that their concept has a good personality. Danny gets up to leave the meeting, and Stephanie voices over that the plan originally was to do a red-carpet-style thing, where you'd get a picture taken with the "Just Say Cheese" thing. Not too bad. Cute. But as they sit around, Danny apparently decides that he's dissatisfied after the meeting. So they go back to the drawing board. "He nixed the entire 'Just Say Cheese' campaign," Stephanie says, in one of the early classic lines of the season. I am totally using that on, like, a bank teller. Just in the middle of a normal conversation.
Danny and Stephanie brain-"storm." "Triple...something," she offers. "Trifecta!" Danny says with relish. "Let's think about the circus -- hey! Three-ring circus!" she says. Danny thinks the circus is dull. He should see himself playing the guitar. Stephanie complains that he basically shrugged off every suggestion she offered. She finally says, with obvious (and justified) sarcasm, "How about 'Win a Date With Danny'?" Well, seriously. They talk to Todd, who asks whether they need help, and they say no. Todd asks them for a timeline, and interviews that Danny has already been "very hard to rein in." He asks them whether they've started on anything yet, and Danny pretty much blows him off and hangs up. Todd does not look pleased. You have displeased Todd!