Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A- | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Is That A Balalaika In Your Pocket...
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 8 | Aired on November 7, 2005
A painful scene is being played out back at Logan's favorite pub, where he has brought Rory and Jess for dinner. Jess says that the place is fine with him, and Logan suggests that he not try to come on Folk Night. Jess says he's not a big fan of folk music. "That's something we have in common," Logan smarms, as he orders another round for everyone and generally acts like Dr. Seuss on speed, asking if Rory and Jess used to date. Rory says yes. "Ah, no hemming, no hawing," Logan says. "Good course of action." He asks Jess what he does, and Jess blandly answers, "This and that." Not good enough for Logan, who is getting about as aggressive now as Tillie on a penalty kick. "Describe the 'this,'" he says. "Describe the 'that.'" Rory is getting annoyed, and explains that Jess writes, and that he has just published a book. Logan asks how big a book it is: "Short novel? Kafka-length? Or, longer? Dos Passos? Tolstoy? Little longer? Robert Musil? Proust? I'm not throwing you with these names, am I?" Ugh. Oh, yes, Logan, you're a literary scholar. Jess deadpans that Logan seems very obsessed with length. Awesome. Logan keeps it up, saying that he should just write down all his random thoughts, add a bunch of "he said"s, "she said"s, and get it published. I must tell you now the story of this dude who was on a blind date with a friend of mine once, in my presence, whose insecurity was so ripe and so palpable that you could not mention an accomplishment or a profession without him one-upping you to beat the band. We called him The Lumberjack, because I believe cutting timber in the Arctic Circle was the last thing he claimed to be capable of doing. He also referred to Céline Dion as being from "Canadia" and, when very, very politely corrected, got offended and huffed, "What, that's not the way you say it?" I will never forget that asshole as long as I live. Logan is that guy. Logan tells Jess he ought to send him a copy of his book. "Well..." Jess says. "Where do I send it? 'The Blond Dick at Yale'?" HA HA HA! Can you really say "dick" on TV like that, now? ["At least since Felicity, where it was Ben Covington's favourite insult." -- Wing Chun] I don't know how I feel about it, but I love it right here. On that note, Jess gets up to leave, amid Logan's mocking protests, and Rory goes after him, telling Logan not to follow her.