Episode Report Card Gwen: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Queen Bee...otch
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.06.2001
John finds Sydney in the Unisex, bending over the mirror to apply lipstick and to exhibit T and A. He tells her that he wants to call some of her employees to the stand. She asks whether he's jealous that Richard got to "suck on something." John protests that he isn't into those sorts of "unconventional antics." Sydney knows this. She can tell that John finds a simple kiss to be the biggest turn-on possible. They go on for way longer than my ulcer can handle, and then she pulls his head toward hers. His feet float a few inches off the floor. They kiss. Mercifully, the commercial comes on in time to distract me, and I'm able to keep from vomiting into my own lap. However, the commercial that comes on is the one in which Martha Stewart is conversing with the animated animals. After rinsing my clothes and putting them in the washer, I sit back down and -- damn, it's the perfume commercial with the scary model walking through the pool of gold. That's it -- no more recapping without a bucket at my side.
Nelle has taken Lisa to her office for a private meeting. They have a little heart-to-heart, not unlike the one Nelle had with the Barbra Streisand impersonator last week. I wonder whether Nelle is working her way back to John through in-kind emotional service with the firm's clients. She advises Lisa to sing her pain, if necessary, but to tone it down a little and refrain from musically harassing Buttons.
Richard and John are at Sydney's workplace. It's full of men. Sydney says, "Watch this," and struts into the middle of the throng. All the men swarm around her and, in case some of us aren't getting the analogy, a buzzing noise plays loudly over the funky music that has hitherto heralded all of Sydney's activity. Richard wants to buzz, too, but John won't let him.
Nelle and Jackson tell Rev. Newman and Buttons that Lisa should be allowed to continue singing at the church. Jackson explains that the sexual harassment law really is expanding. "Quagmire," pipes Buttons. "What?" says Nelle. "It's a legal quagmire," says Buttons, who is then rewarded for her aptitude by a confirmation from Nelle. If this case had any semblance to anything that ever occurs in the real world, and if I were working on it, I would find a parishioner willing to sue Lisa for having had a relationship with Rev. Newman in the first place. Fight ridiculous fire with ridiculous fire, is what I say. But my role in this fiery ridiculous case is passive, so I will keep my valuable legal counsel to myself.