Episode Report Card Daniel: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love conquers all
By Daniel | Season 8 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.11.2004
You know what we need? Another phone call. Because those aren't boring to watch at all. Ruthie calls Peter to say goodnight, and maybe she's been giving him "tips" on how to act like he's having a phone conversation, because now he's staring spookily off-screen. They both apologize for being jerks to each other, and then Ruthie says she hopes he still has room for her in his life now that his father has shown up, and he says "always," but warns her that he expects his life will be like a roller coaster now that Vic's here, and that was bad enough, but he goes on for a little while about this stupid roller coaster simile, and all I want to know is if Brenda Hampton has ever listened to teenagers talk? Ever? And he tells Ruthie that they're coming over to help with the move, and asks her not to judge his dad if he gets angry and mean, and I hate to tell Peter that that ship has sailed. Commercials.
Moving day. Chandler is helping an older man lift what are obviously empty boxes off the back of the truck, and we find out to no one's surprise that yes, it's a group of mentally handicapped people who are moving into a new group home. And I can't even begin to express my contempt for Brenda Hampton's exploitation of these people by portraying them all as simple, benign angels who can teach us all about what's Really Important. And it wouldn't be so bad if every single one of the Camdens and their converts didn't have to act like it's some kind of epiphany. I mean, each one of them, over the course of the next ten minutes, makes this horrible "this person may be mentally handicapped, but they're Just Like Us!" face. So I'm really going to gloss over this section and let you know that Chandler feels good for helping people. If I could, I would have given the episode an F-plus instead of a straight F because, when the Camdens and Company show up and pile out of the minivan, one of Hampton's Angels says, "Looks like a clown car!" much to the delight of his friends (and myself). Paris strolls over to Chandler. "Is Peter coming with you or is he coming with his dad?" says Chandler. Is Peter with her, Assistant Pastor Shithead? Isn't that your answer?
And horizons expand! Lessons are learned! Camdens are humbled in the beatific glow of Hampton's Special People! Feelings are spoken and issues addressed! Camdens are shamed (for not thinking of offering Paris any sympathy for what she's going through). And in case people are too stupid to pick up on all the fucking lesson-learning going on, people ACTUALLY SAY THINGS LIKE, "I think this is one of the many lessons my dad was hoping we'd learn here today," which is an actual quote. It's been said before, by others who have gone before me, but fuck this fucking show.