Episode Report Card Daniel: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love conquers all
By Daniel | Season 8 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.11.2004
Downstairs, Ruthie is on the first of her many phone calls this episode, and in all of them, she stares fixedly and unnervingly off-screen, and she holds the mouthpiece to her neck. I find it sad that she can't even realistically pretend to talk on the telephone, and doubly sad that no one on the show thought to tell her how to. Peter says he phoned to apologize for before. Ruthinator stares off-screen. "Your clothes, give them to me now," she says. Peter explains about his mom talking to his dad. "Come with me if you want to live," says Ruthinator. The scene ends with Ruthie looking directly into the camera and widening her eyes.
I...you know, I always heard this show sucked ass. I just never...I don't know, you can't appreciate the scope of its shittiness until you actually watch it. There's just so much evil in the world.
Not to mention wacky shenanigans! Kevin's noticing that there are two jugs of milk in the fridge when the cop chick whose name I can't remember is all barging in to his apartment, like maybe this is a bachelor party and she's going to pretend there's been a noise complaint before she starts taking off her clothes. Sadly, no. She just asks what the emergency is. He says there is no emergency, that he just told "Smitty" to tell her to call him, but since they had to contrivedly work her into the show, Smitty told her it was an emergency, I guess. ["And...'Smitty'? WHAT is with the NAMES? What is this, Barney Miller? I hate this goddamn show." -- Sars] He says he needs her to run a check on Peter's dad to find out if he has a criminal record. She asks why he can't, and he says he's run out of favours. She wants to know if it's to her advantage if the guy does have a record, and Kevin says that either way Paris is going to be taking some time away from Chandler, so I'm guessing that NYPD Blonde here has a thing for Chandler? She asks what Peter's dad's name is, and Kevin doesn't even know it yet, and you kind of think he might have found that out before he called to have a check done on him, but whatever.
Peter is still on the phone with the Ruthinator, whining about Chandler's "potential" to be a great dad. "Chill out, dickwad," says Ruthinator. "I don't need any of your sage advice! This is why I didn't tell you about it in the first place! And what do you know about it? You're a Camden!" and he angrily hangs up the phone and tosses the phone away, and it's certainly great that being an angry jerk isn't genetic or anything. Ruthie hangs up the phone and we see RevCam eavesdropping. Tiptoeing away, he almost runs into Lucy's boobs. She smilingly shoves him back into Ruthie's room so he can apologize for spying. He does, and they all start piecing together this enthralling soap opera, with Ruthie letting the cat out of the bag that Chandler was going to ask Paris to marry him. RevCam's a little taken aback by that. Oh, didn't Kevin tell him? "No, I didn't," says Kevin, who strolls into the room. "We have milk," he snaps at Lucy, who hangs her head like an eight-year-old.