Episode Report Card Strega: A+ | 203 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Stress Test
By Strega | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2005.01.14
It's Helo's sixth day on Caprica, and it's raining, because that's what it does on Caprica. He's scampering through the woods. Behind him, metal feet go bonk-bonk-bonk. A couple of shiny Cylon robots are chasing him. Helo ducks behind a tree where he's got some supplies stashed and grabs a remote of some kind. The Cylons slow down and flick out their little gun-nozzle fingers. Helo presses a button, and a mine blows up the Cylons. Helo grabs his gun and edges up to the pile of flaming metal. Aw! One of the Cylons is just a torso with one arm flailing around. But it doesn't even have a mouth, so it can't threaten to bite Helo's knees off. Helo shoots it a few times and roars, because I guess he needs to vent. One shot hits it in the head, and it collapses. Even more.
Commercials. Boy, the Sci-Fi channel is getting goofier and goofier with the movies. Giant snakes with five heads are one thing, but locusts? Wait a minute, the VCR is stopped -- this is an ad on CBS. All righty.
CIC. Dualla hands Adama some paperwork, and he reads that they've got a grand total of sixty-one cases of nervous exhaustion so far. Adama tells Dualla and Tigh, "Have the doc start pumping 'em up with stimulants. Get 'em back on the line. Pilots too." Tigh says that this'll "bite [them] in the ass later," but Adama shrugs that off: "We have too much work and not enough people to do it." Dualla gives Adama a fuel report, and he ahems that he already signed it. Dualla grabs it back and apologizes, and then gives him a different bit of paperwork. Adama asks Tigh, "Is this my ten minutes or is this yours?" Tigh says it's Adama's turn, so he gratefully strolls away. Dualla quietly says that she's pretty sure it's Tigh's turn to rest. Tigh says, "The Old Man's so tired, he can't remember that it's his turn."
Flight deck. Starbuck and Apollo are eying one of the Vipers as Apollo asks if she saw Tigh's note. Starbuck grumps that she did, but she won't take stims: "They blunt your reflexes, your reaction time." Cally lurks nearby as Apollo whines that Starbuck has to take the stims, 'cause everyone else is doing it, and doesn't Starbuck wanna be cool like the other kids? Starbuck snaps, "Why are we arguing about this?" Apollo chuckles and says that he doesn't know. Starbuck, more enraged, tells Apollo to act like the CAG. She gets up in his face and growls that he's trying to be everyone's friend, and criticizes his "Be careful" in the Ready Room. She says, "Our job isn't to be careful, it's to shoot Cylons out of the frackin' sky. 'Good hunting' is what you say." Apollo looks around uncomfortably as Starbuck continues, "And now one of your idiot pilots is acting like a child and refusing to take her pills." She tells him that she should either say 'Yes, Sir," or he should smack her in the mouth, drag her to sick bay, and force her to take the stims. They stare at each other for a minute, and then Starbuck loses it and starts giggling, and Apollo smirks, "I'm glad I'm not working for you." Starbuck goes on laughing as Apollo rather seductively asks, "So, do I have to smack you in the mouth, Lieutenant?" Not yet. Starbuck agrees to take the stims, and Apollo helpfully doles out a few from a canister he's carrying. She pops them into her mouth and salutes as she crunches them. Shouldn't you swallow them whole? Or are they like caffeinated mints? Apollo exits, and we see Tyrol staring at Starbuck with an expression of...not quite annoyance, but the same look you give to a kid who's being way too loud in the supermarket. I guess it's a look that means, "I'm sure you don't mean to be a pain in the ass, but good lord." Starbuck sees Tyrol and says, "What?" and Tyrol shruggingly turns away. Heh. That's why I love Tyrol.