Episode Report Card Sars: D | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT A Weekend In The Country
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.18.2000
Joey drags Pacey out onto the porch. In her shirt-sleeves. On Cape Cod. In January. And proceeds to bitch him out for not checking with her first. Pacey throws his hands in the air and shouts, "See if I try to help you again, Cosà Fan 'Tude-y!" Oh, wait, he didn't. Guess who did? Good guess. Anyway, Joey calls Pacey's actions "reckless," and Dawson adds, "and insensitive," because Dawson would know from insensitive. Pacey says, "Okay, one at a time, shall we? Starting with you," and he points at Dawson and tells him that he only asked Mitch to help: "It was his idea to bring Gail along." Dawson doesn't get it, and Pacey repeats that he didn't have anything to do with it, "so if you want to tear someone's head off, why don't you try the guy that sired you, and as for you," he address himself to Joey, "how can you possibly be so ungrateful, after just having witnessed an outpouring of love and support that would have made George Bailey proud?" I could have done without the Capra reference, but otherwise, a hearty "word." Joey says that there is nothing wonderful about her life right now; she picks up a cordless phone, smacks it into Pacey's hand, and orders him to get The Frickmeister on the phone and tell him "that there is no room at the inn." "Why?" Pacey asks, and Joey fumes, "Because! You don't show a movie reviewer a rough cut, and you don't serve a food critic your first stab at a new recipe, especially if that recipe is your last chance of [sic] keeping a roof over your head." Pacey and Dawson make concerned "huh?" noises, and The Little Match Girl flicks her hair behind her ear and mumbles that Bessie is considering taking out a mortgage, and Dawson splutters, "A mor -- you can't let her risk the house!" Oh, COME ON, people -- would you rather have her go to a loan shark? It just isn't that big a deal! Joey turns on Dawson and asks him rudely if the term "legal guardian" means anything to him. Pacey looks stricken throughout this exchange, then apologizes to Joey and says he'll "make this right right now, okay?" Joey goes inside to find some guy standing in the foyer, and she asks him all sarcastically, "Don't tell me -- the Fuller-Brush man?" The guy produces a card and identifies himself as none other than Baron Von Fricke. Joey takes the card mutely as Mr. Fricke asks crisply, "Is -- now a bad time?" "No, not at all," Joey says with a big old fake-welcome smile, then turns to glare at Pacey as The Bass Guitar Of Bad Timing twangs in the background.
Dawson enters his parents' room and says in his patented passive-aggressive-cheery voice, "So, you two are staying in the honeymoon suite." "No," Gail corrects him, "Your nostrils got the honeymoon suite, you arrogant little Fruit Loop -- we got stuck with the couch in the living room." Oh, sorry, she didn't really say that. But she should have, and she should have punctuated it with a ringing backhand slap and NOT turned her rings around first. She actually says that they've only come to help Joey and Bessie out, and that after Frick-assee falls asleep, "your dad's gonna go home and crash." Dawson asks if they don't think "it might be a little confusing, even hurtful, to the child of divorce to see his parents play-acting a happy marriage?" The Flash looks taken aback, but repeats that "we're just here to help out." Dawson tells him that Pacey only asked The Flash to help out: "He didn't say anything about Mom." The Flash tells Dawson to chill, that he's seeing "something dark and complex" when there's really nothing there. Dawson flares his nostrils, knocking his father against the back wall of the room in the process, and snaps, "You know what I'm seeing? I'm seeing two people who don't know what the hell they want, and I'm sick of it." Well, I bet they know what they don't want, and that's custody of your sorry ass. Rent a wet-vac and suck it up, Mall Bran. Anyway, Dawson snits off, slamming the door behind him. The Flash throws a "the hell?" look at Gail, who looks down pensively.