Episode Report Card Sars: D | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT A Weekend In The Country
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.18.2000
Capeside High interior. "There's Something About" Henry Parker rushes down the stairs in pursuit of Jennifer "Crimp On! Crimp Off!" Lindley, who greets him with, "Hey, stranger, where ya been all week?" Henry "working" blah blah blah Jen "haven't seen you since Capefest" blah blah blah Henry "working at The Bass" blah blah blah Jen "my favorite restaurant" blah blah blah Henry took a free meal instead of wages blah blah blah datecakes. Henry wants Jen to eat at The Bass with him, Jen doesn't recall Henry asking her, Henry deliberately didn't ask so that Jen couldn't say no, Jen points out that that strategy doesn't allow her to say yes, on and on and on. Jen gets off a pretty funny line about spotting "a date in sheep's clothing," but other than that, you only need to know that Jen says she'll think about eating dinner with him, which pleases Henry.
Jack "Newbie Treat" McPhee rounds a corner, clad in his varsity jacket, and greets Andie "Guided By Voices" McPhee as she kneels in front her product-placed iBook: "Hey, my sister the future bureaucrat. How goes it?" Andie core-dumps her play-related stress on Jack: she has to format a bunch of junk into a Playbill, pick up posters and hang them around town, deal with the tickets, check to make sure the paper runs the ad, and "did I mention that I'm a student with a little obligation called homework?" Damn, Andie, just cheat on the homework -- it's not like you'll face any consequences or anything. Jack looks over her shoulder and observes that she doesn't know much about the program she's using. "What gave that away?" she asks. Jack says that she has each word in a different font, which Andie perkily calls "a style choice." "And upside down," Jack says. "It's a bold style choice," Andie says through gritted teeth. Bah-dump-bump -- Andie McPhee, ladies and gentlemen! She's here all week! Don't forget to tip your waitress! Anyhow, Jack takes the iBook from her and settles down to help his "wayward sister" with the layout, remarking that he doesn't know how she keeps it together: "I mean, personally, I wouldn't be able to handle all this." "Well, you would if you had a supportive family to come home to every night," Andie hints. Jack smiles but doesn't take the bait: "Thanks, but I'm happy where I am." "You couldn't be happy at home?" Andie asks, and Jack says no, not with Angry Pants there. Andie says that their father misses Jack, and Jack laughs out loud and says, "Yeah, I'm sure he does -- all those father-and-son heart-to-hearts we used to have." Andie says, "It'll be different," and Jack finally looks up from the iBook and says, "Okay, he knows that I don't wanna move home, so he enlists you to speak for him -- that's what this is, isn't it?" Andie just stares at him for a second, then rolls her eyes and begins gathering her things: "You know, Jack, thanks for your help but -- I can manage on my own." She slams the iBook closed so that it nearly pinches Jack's fingers, snatches it off of his lap, says, "See ya," and walks off. Jack shakes his head.
An office at the bank. Joey and Bessie "Mama's Got A Brand-New Bag" Potter sit glumly in front of a bank officer's desk as the woman explains that, although she championed Bessie's cause personally, the bank can't give Bessie a loan, because she's a single mother with multiple dependents "and an income-to-debt ratio that doesn't even qualify for our most liberal profile." Bessie asks the bank officer if she has any suggestions as to what to do, and the BO mentions doing "what a lot of small businesses do, and that's leverage your assets." Joey says snidely that "our Microsoft options have been called, and our yacht is in hock." Um, since when does one of the "multiple dependents" in question get to skip school for a loan-application meeting, and shoot her mouth off during it besides? Bessie shoots Joey a look, but the BO just ignores Joey and suggests taking out a mortgage. "On the house?" Joey asks in disbelief, and the BO says, "It is paid for, free and clear." Joey rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but when Bessie says brightly, "Do you have an application?" Joey whips around to glare at Bessie.