Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fear Of Commitment
By Wing Chun | Season 7 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.02.2001
Weaver tells The Macer that Rex the Wonder Preemie has built a summer home on her left ovary. Just kidding. It's a tumour. The Macer cranks, "I came in here because I couldn't poop!" Weaver explains that the tumour's big enough that it's blocking her bowel movements. The Macer ruefully says, "Cancer, huh? Well, well, well. Every day comes with its own surprises." Weaver asks, "What?" and The Macer quickly snaps, "Nothin'." Weaver very slowly turns around and breathes, "That's how I know you! You're Princess Taffeta! And you had that children's show I used to watch all the time when I was little, and you always used to say, 'Every day comes with its own surprises'!" That's a lame-ass catchphrase. It's certainly no "It's beer o'clock, and I'm buying!" It's absolutely no "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?" It's about on par with "How rude!" The Macer denies that she was Princess Taffeta. Weaver's not buying it: "It was you, and you worked with those great puppets; there was Mojo, and Mr. Whiskers, and the...what was that...Coconuts! The chimpanzee with the sailor uniform!" The Macer finally breaks: "We got that monkey from a lab, and we had to dress him in that stupid outfit to hide his open sores!" See, now, there is a catchphrase. Princess Taffeta (formerly The Macer) turns away disgustedly. Weaver realizes that their tender moment has passed; in a businesslike manner she says that Princess Taffeta will have to be admitted, and that a gynecologist will want to see her and start treatment right away. Princess Taffeta sputters that she doesn't like hospitals. Weaver tries to convince her, but Princess Taffeta will not be moved. Weaver offers to call a family member, but Princess Taffeta has no brothers or sisters and never married. She offers that she was engaged once, to a man named Christopher Clemens. As Weaver surreptitiously checks her pager, Princess Taffeta says that Clemens was going to be a jazz musician and she was going to be a movie star: "Doesn't really matter now. In the end, everybody dies alone. Right?" I don't get it. Psych. I do.
Outside the courthouse, Lisa asks a guy on a bench for a light. He's cuffed, but he amiably proffers his cigarette anyway. She studies the authentic Chicago scenery (her hair looking, oddly, much fuller and longer than it did in the courtroom, only it's not "oddly" at all because clearly the interiors and exteriors were shot weeks or months apart) until Luka steals up behind her. She opines that the proceedings are "a freaking disaster." He smirks, "You did fine." She chuckles, and asks who's covering for him. He tells her not to worry about it, and then holds out a packaged sandwich. She says she's not hungry. Luka says, "She's asking for you. Maybe you should talk to her." Lisa squints, "What for? You're the one who didn't want me to deal with her!" Luka disagrees: "No, I thought she needed hospitalization." Lisa snaps, "Well, why do you think I'm here?" Luka suggests, "Because you know she needs your help, even if she doesn't want it?" Lisa, looking cornered, considers that as we go to commercials.
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