Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT "Almost thirty hours" is more like it
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.11.2002
Sark tells her she has forty-eight hours to produce the required elements and show up in an alley in Taipei. She has to be there Tuesday at midnight, or Willage really dies this time instead of getting hit point-blank with a tranquilizer dart and making us all think he's dead when he's really not.
Dock Of Daddies And The Daughters They Don't Really Know. Syd's telling Spy Daddy that SD-6 has the blank page and the CIA has the ampoule and they could both get the stuff and save Willage's ass. And yes, she's crying as she says this. Spy Daddy's all, dude. We can't just hand this shit over. That would be SO not good. Syd's all, do you HAVE any friends? I mean, friends you haven't KILLED? Spy Daddy's all, don't lecture me, Barbie. I know what's at stake here, okay? And by the way? Just because I don't CRY AT THE DROP OF A HAT, doesn't mean I don't care. And, like, you could learn something from the way I deal with situations more strategically, okay? Here's a tissue. Now stop WHINING.
Spy Daddy goes on to tell us all sorts of shit that we already know: the page that Khasinau wants can't be read without the ampoule, and this page was apparently important enough to send Shovelhead into SD-6 with nothing more than his inflated ego and a bunch of guns in order to retrieve said ampoule. Syd surmises, correctly, that Spy Daddy wants to get the page and the ampoule and see what all the fuss is about.
Okay. Have I mentioned that I have a head cold and can't hear out of my right ear? Right. I believe I have. So, like, this next series of scenes is almost too much for me to take. Spy Daddy fires up his laptop and yammers something about how stealing the ampoule from the CIA shouldn't be that big of a deal. The page, however, is another story. It's been moved to an offsite lab for analysis. No, it doesn't make sense. Oh, wait, this is Alias. NOTHING makes sense. Except that if they put the page at an offsite lab that, say, Sydney has to go underwater in order to access, we'll all get to see Syd in a skintight scuba outfit. That makes sense. See, 'cuz the offsite lab is located off the coast of Santa Barbara and it's, like, surrounded by water, so, like, Syd will have to access it through the drainage system, thereby making it possible for Jennifer Garner to slide herself into yet another rubber outfit and spend several silky minutes underwater. I'd love to get in on the writing meetings at this show.