Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT "Almost thirty hours" is more like it
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.11.2002
Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires. Syd is leaning her forehead into her hand, looking for all the world like she's trying to manufacture a thesis by sunrise. Agent Amorous is telling Syd how sorry he is about the Willage situation. He goes on to put our minds at rest about the security team that was watching Willage, saying that they were all shot with tranquilizers instead of killed, meaning that the attackers weren't out for blood. Way to minimize the body count, J.J. Agent Apathy goes on to say that if it's a kidnapping, the kidnappers will contact them. Syd's just really scared for Will. We're scared for him too. We're scared that we're never going to see another shot of Willage in his Joe Boxers. Come away from the light, Willage! Come away!
"You'll contact me if you hear anything?" says Syd, looking directly at Vaughn. He looks up at her and there is, I'm not kidding, a forehead wrinkle count of approximately NINETEEN. Trust me. I paused the damn tape. And the forehead wrinkles in the center? They form DEVIL HORNS. Vaughn is the devil. Vaughn is SATAN. Yes, I'm on Sudafed Severe Cold Formula. Yes, I'm thinking I'm Tank from The Matrix right now and I can actually load a jujitsu program onto my computer and kick Laurence Fishburne's ASS. That doesn't negate the fact that Vaughn's forehead has devil horns on it. It doesn't.
So Satan Vaughn just stares at Sydney until she says, "Vaughn?" Satan Vaughn asks Sydney what's going on. She sits back, her highlights glinting in the fluorescent lighting, and says, "What do you mean?" Satan Vaughn apparently isn't pleased with this answer, because he visits Agent Sean after talking to Sydney and unloads a whole new truckload of lurve-induced bullshit on him.
Agent Amorous tells Agent Sean that, even though he hasn't known Sydney long, he's known her long enough to know that she doesn't just accept problems; she tries to fix 'em. Thank God. A girl after my own heart. Like, me setting up the PS2? Wedge asked me if I need help. Hello? I single-handedly gutted my computer, reinstalled a video card, installed a CD-R, and warped my DSL so it's faster than any other DSL on this block, okay? Yeah. I need your help. I need your help like I need a Dijon mustard enema, okay? I set up the PS2 in under five minutes flat, even though I had to put it through an RF modulator, and I was playing Tricky ten minutes later. I think I can handle it, dude.
Right. So, uh, Agent Sean posits the question that Syd may try to get Willage out on her own. Agent Amorous thinks she may. Agent Sean wants to know why she wouldn't tell her non-boyfriend about her plans. Agent Amorous mentions the whole safe-house debacle wherein her best friend was kidnapped -- meaning, really, what in the HELL is there to trust about the CIA? "Trust is a tricky thing," says Agent Sean, making me believe that not only does J.J. Abrams have a camera situated somewhere in my house, but that Greg Grunberg is watching the surveillance tapes religiously. Tricky, dude! TRICKY!