Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.09.2004
Lucy stares at Kevin while he tries to read. What an annoying bitch. Kevin says he does not want to talk about how he doesn't want a promotion. But Lucy wants an explanation. Kevin says that the only explanation needed is that Lucy never cared about Kevin getting a promotion until Roxanne went for one. And now he's going out -- alone. "So you can be away from me?" Lucy pouts. That's a happy marriage.
Annie walks in the house holding "fresh green beans," because "Matt loves fresh beans." I bet he would, too. RevCam informs Annie that the green beans will have to keep. Martin and Mac come downstairs. RevCam asks them where they're going. "Out to have lots of sex with Asslee," Martin says, and leaves. Ha! That was awesome! Annie makes her Questioning Clownface, and RevCam tries to explain.
And just where will Matt and Heather be spending their enchanted evening? Why, on the Promenade, of course! Heather says she almost didn't come, because they both know that this "isn't just dinner." Matt asks what they should do now. Heather says she doesn't know if they should stay, but she does know that she doesn't want to go. Make up your mind, Heather! Your indecisiveness is probably why you got divorced in the first place.
The CamFam, minus Matt, Martin, and Lucy, set the table for dinner. Lucy bursts in and announces that Kevin won't be joining them for dinner. RevCam expresses his disinterest. The phone rings, and Annie asks someone to get it. So Peter gets it, even though this isn't his house. Oh, and then? He tells PC, who's calling, that Matt can't come to the phone because he's on a date with Heather. Even Maria, who has no idea who Matt or PC even are, is all, "Awwww, shit!" She must have taken a cue from the Sad Piano of Potential Infidelity. Holding an arm over her belly to conceal her pregnancy, PC hangs up the phone.
Mac and Martin wait for the girls to show up for their date. They finally arrive, and they look pissed. It turns out that Asslee and Pam had a little chat, one that proved to be especially informative. Then they both childishly slap Mac on the arm. Martin asks what's going on. Asslee answers, her head bobbling about furiously, that she's breaking up with Martin because he either has "bad taste in friends, or [he] just [has] bad taste." And why can't it be both? Pam tells Mac that she may have been "desperate" when they started going out, but she isn't anymore. The two girls walk away. Martin asks Mac what's going on: Mac says he told "a little white lie" to Pam about Martin and Asslee. He pulled an "everybody's doing it" with Pam and tried to convince her to have sex with him by saying that Martin and Asslee were doing it too. Martin's eyes bug out, and his jaw drops. He can't understand why Mac would say something that he knew wasn't true. Hey, maybe, Martin, it's because Mac is like just about every other teenage boy, and he's so desperate to have sex that he'll do anything. Not that such behavior is at all commendable, but it's just refreshing to see a character on this show who behaves in a somewhat realistic manner. Martin weakly punches Mac in the shoulder and leaves. Mac doesn't look too contrite. Would I watch a spin-off series where Mac just went around messing up the lives of the holier-than-thou? Yes. Yes, I would.