Episode Report Card Jacob: A | 366 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT A Human Reaction
By Jacob | Season 1 | Episode 16 | Aired on 1999.08.20
Credits. The most beautiful thing about maybe this entire show is the way the credit sequences change from season to season, updating the story boilerplate while mirroring John's adaptations to his situation. "I'm just looking for a way home" becomes "Look upward, and share the wonders I've seen." There's a lot of emotion coded into those little changes. It gives me chills every time.
Aeryn's sitting against a wall, somewhere else, brooding. Aeryn was a Peacekeeper, a soldier, before she met Crichton and got exiled. Now she's nothing, trying to learn to be something else. Earlier, when the crew was doing pretty hideous things to each other on the off chance that they'd be able to find maps to their various homes, John promised her that she could come home with him, since she no longer has a home, or a people, of her own. It was pretty devastating, and they've kissed since then, but the subject really hasn't come up again, because John and Aeryn are still busy being idiots. John approaches her, wearing his IASA flightsuit. "You're going, now?" she asks, refusing to look him in the eye. "Yeah, Pilot says we're runnin' out of time," says John. He's got a southern accent that comes and goes, depending on how freaked out he is. I'd put this scene at about a 6. "I can't go with you," says Aeryn, cold as stone. John complains that this is possibly their only chance to find home. Aeryn: "No, this is your only chance. I'm not certain I'll belong there." John promises that she will, but she shakes her head, swallows, apologizes. Pilot calls down to John that the wormhole is continuing to destabilize, and he looks at Aeryn awhile before standing. "I'm on my way," he calls to Pilot, and turns away. She looks at where he was standing. It's easy to blow this off, because we know how their relationship will twist and turn, but this is the beginning. This is Aeryn, terrified, not even beginning to understand what John meant when he said she could be "more." She's still empty. The last thing she needs is to go to a place where everybody knows John but still looks at her funny.
Zhaan and Rygel are waiting for John in the maintenance bay, where his small craft, the Farscape, stands ready. Zhaan warns him of the danger of traveling through the wormhole, the instability of it, the fact that he could end up anywhere. She's really just begging him to stay. She's always loved him, from the beginning; she went all Sith to save him from Maldis, giving up everything that means anything. They've shared Unity, they've been one soul. She loves John more than anybody, even D'Argo (maybe Rygel, although Zhaan would never admit it). John checks over his module, knowing what Zhaan's actually saying: "It could kill me, Zhaan, I know. You've given me every good reason not to go. I could end up dead, I could end up more lost than I already am. You've given me every single thing except one." She's so not feeling any of this. "This could be Earth. This is the way I got here, through a wormhole. Could be my way home." I don't see how Zhaan can argue this, considering that she was willing to torture Pilot for her own opportunity -- and that was even before she went all dork-sided. "However this works out, this could be goodbye." John thanks her for the many times she's saved his crazy bacon, and then thanks them all. Zhaan smiles peacefully, looks down. This whole show is a series of goodbyes.