Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Putting The "Curt" In "Curtis"
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2007.01.15
Chloe's desk phone rings, and it's Kiefer. "Jack, I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again," she gushes. Kiefer, of course, has no time for this mushy stuff, and asks for Buchanan. Chloe transfers the call, and Kiefer tells Buchanan that he's tracking Fayed's Handler with Assad. He wants Chloe -- who has just arrived in the Situation Room with her laptop -- to give them satellite coverage. Buchanan in turn tells Kiefer about Fayed's demand for the Palmdale prisoners' freedom, and that he thinks Wayne will go through with it if they don't find Fayed by the end of the episode. Kiefer's still rolling his eyes at that when Chloe cuts in to say that it's going to take her ten minutes to get satellite coverage. What, did Morris crash his Uzbek satellite into the Pacific in the last hour? Kiefer says that's too long, but Chloe can't help it; surveillance satellites are kind of in high demand under the circumstances, what with three or four major American cities exploding at any given moment. Nadia suggests traffic cams, but Chloe already checked, and there aren't any on the road the Handler's going to be taking. CalTrans: aiding and abetting terror since the 1980s. I don't know why Kiefer's so stressed; he can just hope the Handler stops for gas, and then hold up the station to keep him there for a while. Kiefer asks for the nearest CTU tactical team to be sent in his direction, and is told that Curtis will be on his way to meet him soon. Satisfied for now, Kiefer hangs up. "Do you think this man will recognize you?" Kiefer asks Assad. Assad doesn't think so. Maybe he's not as famous a terrorist as we've been led to believe, if even other terrorists affiliated with his organization don't know him by sight. Still, it's enough for a plan to spring fully formed from Kiefer's head. We just cut away before he can explain it. Not to worry; we'll see it in action soon enough.
Back at CTU, Buchanan gets on the line with Curtis and sends him to provide backup for Kiefer, adding, "He's running this operation with Assad." Curtis is so not okay with this, even though Buchanan's orders are clear: "Rendezvous with them and lend support. All warrants on Assad are rescinded for the time being, understood?" After a long pause, Curtis grouches that they're on their way. Well, look who's growing an attitude.
This has been enough time for Kiefer not only to explain his fairly complicated plan to Assad, but to put it into action. Some guy in a suit is about to get into his white Jeep Cherokee, until Kiefer runs up behinds him and totally Grand Theft Autos him to the ground. "Don't get up," he advises, and drives off in the guy's car. That's two cars he's stolen in about an hour, unless you count the Echo, which would make it 2.1 cars. Kiefer drives like the nutbar he is for a few blocks, crashing through fences and generally being a traffic menace. Meanwhile, Assad is still quietly tailing the Handler. Kiefer comes screaming out of an alley and totally t-bones the Handler's car, sending it crashing into a couple of other parked vehicles. Kiefer screeches to a halt ahead of the Handler, while Assad pulls in quietly some distance behind. Kiefer comes storming out of his stolen Jeep like the poster child for road rage, totally acting like he blames the Handler for the collision. The Handler, no dummy, looks like he's going to retreat back into his car. That would probably be safer than facing Kiefer, even if it's leaking gas and about to explode. Assad takes his cue and gets out of his Echo, asking the Handler if he's all right. Kiefer yells at Assad to mind his own business, and Assad says he's a witness, accusing Kiefer, "You drove straight into him!" Kiefer pretends to go all "you people" on both of them, but Assad says that he'll wait with them until the police arrive. So Kiefer tells them both to screw themselves, and runs back to his stolen Cherokee, driving off. Assad yells at Kiefer to come back, but when Kiefer keeps going, Assad tells the Handler he got Kiefer's license plate. Man, that Cherokee's rightful owner just got screwed even more. The Handler checks his watch and says he doesn't have time for this right now. But of course he can't drive his car, either. Assad asks the Handler where he's going, and the Handler says he's going to Newhall. Wouldn't you know it, Assad says he's going there too, and would be happy to give the Handler a ride. It's 8:11:53, and as the Handler is busy getting his stuff out of his wrecked car, Assad dials his cell phone, leaves it open, and surreptitiously drops it into the pocket of his Echo's car door. A moment later, the ex- and current terrorist are on their way.