Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT ImHoudini
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.24.2005
Buchanan tells PMHC that the Veep doesn't have to make a decision anymore. PMHC is pissed, clutching the phone in his fist like he's trying to crush it and yelling that Buchanan should have restrained Kiefer. Buchanan says that "restraint is a luxury we can't afford." PMHC still has the problem of what to tell the Veep. Buchanan suggests he convince the Veep to agree now and they'll fudge the timeline later. PMHC isn't keen on the idea of lying to another president. Buchanan changes the subject, saying off the record that he doesn't think the Veep is up to handling the current crisis. "I understand," says PMHC, and hangs up, even though nothing is resolved. The man who nearly brought down a president, stymied by topic drift. Now you see why we clamp down on that shit in the forums.
Welcome to scenic Central Iowa, where the WarheadMobile has arrived. They covered that 92 miles in a hurry, didn't they? The truck is backing up to a corrugated metal structure somewhere. Given all the other technological hoodoo that's been going on this season, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that the terrorists have converted a grain silo into a missile silo. But no, it's just a regular old barn. As the terrorists haul the warhead's case into the barn like a group of pallbearers, a cell phone goes off. It belongs to the guy I assume is Morris, who's being played by Keith Szarabajka. Angel viewers will remember him as the temporally and dimensionally gifted vampire hunter Holtz from Season Three. I remember wondering at the time how a guy with that moniker makes a career as an actor. It's not like producers are ever going to be hollering, "Get me Keith Szlivenslavyl!" On the other hand, sticking to that name probably leads to fewer false positives when Googling oneself. From his brief cell phone conversation with ImhoTerror, we learn that the warhead is going to undergo some kind of "compatibility check," and that Keith Slzjkzjkjvbvkjsa is doing this for money. Well, of course he is. He's a white guy. At least the show isn't coming out in favor of racial profiling; we need financial profiling too. Once off the phone and in the building, he stands over a Middle Eastern guy who slides the guts of the warhead out of the cone. "Is it compatible?" asks Keith Szmanfrenjinson. The Missile Tech says he only needs to configure the trigger mechanism, which should take him an hour or less. But before he can get started on that, his own cell phone rings. He sees that it's his girlfriend, who's been calling for a while, and he doesn't want her getting suspicious. Keith Szimpleplancd grumpily tells Missile Tech to hurry up with the call.
Turns out the Missile Tech's Middle Eastern girlfriend, whom I am of course calling Miss Iletech, has already busted him; he's not at the hotel he's supposed to be at, which she knows because she tried to call him there. She wants to know what he's up to. He tries to blow her off, but she's not letting it go. At first you think she's going to accuse him of cheating on her, but she goes right to "Are you involved with these terrorists?" Hee! Awesome. Turns out she found a suspicious bookmark on his computer. Hey, Missile Tech? If there's stuff on your computer you don't want the girlfriend to see, maybe it's not a good idea to bookmark it. Although what do I know, I'm not a terrorist. Oh, no! It's red text on a black background! Malicious code! Run! Failing to placate her, he snaps that he'll explain tomorrow and snaps his phone shut. He turns, and Keith Sznikuponagai is standing right behind him with a worried look on his face. "She's fine," Missile Tech assures him with a pat on the shoulder. Keith Szursheeyiz looks doubtful. Here's what I'm doubtful about: are there teams and experts like this working for ImhoTerror in every county in the United States? Because he didn't know where the nearest nuke was going to be until an hour ago. And if he has that kind of resources, why doesn't he just go ahead and throw a straightforward coup?