Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Wrestlemania
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.09.1998
Hill tells us that we can get our families to do anything for us. So I should expect a new sound system for Christmas, then?
Alvarez enters Ryan's pod, and gives him something in a paper bag in exchange for some money. Alvarez says he doesn't understand why he would pay money for the item in question, which we see is one of Gloria's stethoscopes. I'm going to have to crane my neck to recap the rest of this episode, because Ryan is clearly going around the bend. Alvarez tells Ryan they can't find love in Oz. Miguel, why do you hurt Torquemada so? Alvarez leaves, but Ryan, wearing the stethoscope and looking at himself in the mirror, says, "You're wrong." Ryan, send me a postcard from the edge, will you?
Ryan calls Gloria, and when she hears his voice she goes colder than the reviews for Gigli. He tries to arrange to see her, and says a bunch of stalkery things like "I want you to take care of me" and finally, simply, "I love you." She hangs up. Pete is sitting with Gloria, and Gloria tells her that Ryan is calling her ten times a day and writing her love letters. While I think my reaction might be just a little different, I certainly understand why she's getting creeped out, as she puts it. Pete asks if she's been encouraging him, which she flatly denies, and then offers to talk to Ryan for her. Gloria accepts the offer, and Pete takes the letters. Pete! You're a nun!
Ryan enters Pete's office. She asks how he's feeling, and he says that some days are better than others. Pete spouts her theory that since his life was in danger and now it isn't, he's feeling the need to replace the fear he experienced with something else. He squints at her like he's trying to follow along, and I know the feeling, but at least I'm aware of where she's ultimately going with this. Pete tells him that he's been focusing an awful lot on Gloria, and that it's easy to mistake appreciation for affection. I guess I appreciate Ryan an awful lot, then. Ryan asks if she's saying that his feelings aren't real, and Pete doesn't go that far, but delicately opines that Gloria (whom she's deliberately referring to as "Dr. Nathan," by the way) has "a different perspective." Yeah, "get the hell away from me, psycho" is usually different from "I love you." Not always, though. Pete says that if he really cares for Gloria, he should respect her feelings and leave her alone. Ryan says sometimes he just needs to hear her voice. Pete: "I understand. But she doesn't want to hear yours." Jeez, kick the chemo patient while he's down, why don't you. Ryan looks like he's going to cry as Pete goes on that real love is reciprocal, but when only one party has those feelings, it's obsession. A tear actually rolls down Ryan's cheek as he smiles that what he feels for Gloria is "the truest, best thing I've ever had, in my whole fuckin' life. And you're not gonna take it away from me." Yeah, you sort of missed the point there, Ryan. He gets angry and yells that nothing will ever change his feelings, and he's heated enough that McManus knocks on the door. Ryan opens it and notes that McManus dated her. "Did you fuck her?" Don't go there, Ryan. For the love of us all. McManus says that Gloria and Ryan are both married, and that he has to stop. Ryan yells that he can't. McManus closes the door, and Pete raises her eyebrows all, "Well, that went well."