Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Wrestlemania
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.09.1998
McManus walks with a TV station representative, saying he doesn't want a big production that will distract the inmates. He also says that he wants the segment to run for three minutes, and perhaps you heard a wheezing sound coming from across the Atlantic? That was me, trying to catch my breath after laughing so hard. You'll take the fifteen-second sound bites they give you and like it, tool. He smarms, "I want your viewers to know that something good's coming out of Oz." Amazingly, the rep doesn't laugh in his face. You know he's going to be reciting this conversation when he gets back to the station, though.
Graduation. McManus is speaking, and in keeping with the historic (well, to me, anyway) nature of this recap, I'm going to give a shout-out to the old Dawson's Wrap days and note that my Maalox scorecard is really getting a workout here. Shots of McManus through a video camera are interspersed as he blathers about a "communal victory" and changing lives, until he gets to his big moment: He drops the bomb about the GED program being discontinued, and while this is totally inappropriate and not his place, the PP was sort of asking for it. Plus, I saw it coming from a mile away, unlike a certain later development involving this character. Also, right afterward, we get a shot of the PP's reaction through the video camera. Hee. It's the "Oh No He Di-Int!" of camera work. Needless to say, the PP doesn't look pleased, although he's certainly not fuming. Next to him, Glynn looks amused, and number one on my list of 1001 Reasons Why Glynn Is Better Than McManus is that he doesn't take himself so goddamned seriously all the time. Maybe the world needs people like McManus, but that doesn't mean I need him on my television. McManus blathers on, eventually having the nerve to quote Chuck D, and it was at this point that I thought my McManus hate could not go any further. He's already Public Enemy Number One in my book. But no. There's a whole new subbasement to be explored. And that's just in this episode.
McManus finally gives up the stage to Poet, who recites a long poem that I thankfully have an excuse to skip, as I'm only ten minutes into the episode and I'm already on page four. Pete smiles and nods sagely during the poem, like she has the slightest clue what he's talking about. Poet "rhymes" "Dom Perignon," which he mispronounces, and "Armageddion [sic]," and this is genius? muMs the word, Poet. muMs the word. McManus smiles, but Mukada has a "what the fuck is this shit?" look on his face, and I am not kidding. Word, Father Ray. Poet says he has "144,000 rhymes for every brain cell," and either he's saying that he has 144,000 rhymes for every brain cell, which is truly too horrifying to contemplate, or he only has 144,000 brain cells, which is far easier for me to accept. Anyway, he finally finishes up, and the audience applauds as he hugs a Sunday-dressed woman that I'll assume is his mother. Aw. Coushaine presents the graduates as Glynn and an obviously grumpy PP get to their feet. Hee. Coushaine calls each of the graduate's names in voice-over as we see Wangler mopping the floor back in Oz. Ha! I feel bad for his mother in more ways than one, but he totally brought this on himself.