Episode Report Card Pamie: C | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Hate Your Life? Try Bad Wigs.
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.14.2002
Let me be the first to tell you: Don't see The Truth About Charlie. Want to know the one axiom in life? Mark Wahlberg is no Cary Grant. What a horrible idea this movie was. Why would you want to remake Charade? What's next, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest with David Arquette? Shit, they'll probably do that, won't they?
Lane's hair is done, and she loves her new purple wig. She makes Rory take a Polaroid of it. She says it's the most radical thing a Kim has done since her cousin got caught reading Maxim at summer camp. The door rings as MamaLane enters the house. Lane immediately freaks and says she can't go through with this -- of course. She throws a towel over her head and tells Rory to go back to the shop to buy black hair dye. She makes Rory jump out the window to do it because if MamaLane sees Rory she'll know that Lane's home, too. Rory jumps out the window, telling Lane she owes her big-time. There's no way Lane's hair would take this black dye on top of everything. And her forehead would be smudged in purple, since Rory's not exactly an expert at hair dye. Chatty-chatty-chatty, this scene.
Back at the salon supply store, Probawhore is cooing on the phone to Jess. This girl really does move fast, in all ways. Her hair is now done differently, and she's wearing a different outfit, so maybe when we saw her last it was somehow yesterday and...never mind. Anyway, she's telling Jess that she's left something over at his place. She flirts with him and asks what they're doing tonight. She says she's sick of eating and she feels like a pig. "I feel all bloaty." She then says that "bloaty" is a word, since she said it and words get invented by people saying them and then other people saying them. She calls Jess a jerk. Then, suddenly Rory's yelling at this girl loud enough for Jess to know that she's at the counter, telling Probawhore that she's got lousy customer skills. Those Gilmores never know how to treat anyone in customer service. Probawhore rings up the hair dye as Rory goes on about how much Probawhore sucks. She says she can tell that Probawhore wasn't on a business call. "Un-freakin'-believable," Probawhore mutters. ["This is where I expected Probawhore to follow up by saying, 'Don't you think I know who you are? You didn't want him, so don't take it out on me.' Or something to that effect, anyway." -- Wing Chun] Rory says it is pretty "un-freakin'-believable," the level of service in that place. She tells Probawhore that "bloaty" isn't a word. "Thanks, that's fascinating," Probawhore says. "Well, for you, how ice is made is probably fascinating," Rory says. I'm not buying this bitchy Rory for a second. Probawhore hasn't done a damn thing to her, and it's Rory's fault he's with her anyway. Break up with your boyfriend before you hate the-guy-you're-cheating-with's girlfriend, why don't you?