Episode Report Card Pamie: C | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Hate Your Life? Try Bad Wigs.
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.14.2002
Lane's bathroom. Why they're not doing this at Rory's house makes absolutely no sense to me. Anyway, they've got everything they need to bleach Lane's hair. Rory asks if Lane's really sure about this. Lane offers to sign a waiver, and tells Rory to hit Play on the stereo. Siouxsie and the Banshees starts up as Rory worries that the bleach will stink up the entire house. Lane declares that the smell of bleach is the scent of her freedom, and that the more the stench permeates the house, the louder her battle cry is being shouted. She kicks the floor tarp and announces, "To hell with the floor!" She sits in a chair, and Rory starts applying the bleach. It stings Lane's head. Rory tells Lane to think about something else to get her mind off the pain. Lane: "Thinking about something else. Something else. Thinking about puppy dogs. Thinking about getting things in the mail. I love getting things in the mail. Letters and packages." Rory interrupts with an Ace Ventura quote that nobody ever does that Lane and the rest of the world don't catch collectively. "Still thinking. Thinking about world events. Lots going on there. Thinking about the last movie I saw. Vin Diesel was in it. Thinking about Vin Diesel now. Thinking about where Vin Diesel got the name Vin Diesel. Thinking about Vin Diesel's mysterious ethnicity. Thinking about how surprising it is to have so much to think about with Vin Diesel. Who knew? Who knew? Okay, now I'm just thinking about the pain, here." Rory tries to get Lane to focus on anything other than the pain, but now Lane's got too much pain to think about anything else. Rory suggests that she rinse her head, but Lane doesn't want to have to sit through that pain again; she'd rather get it over with now. There's so much talking I can't take it. Rory says the smell is making her dizzy, and Lane tells her to read the bottle to see what she should do in case of pain. Rory asks Lane if her scalp is broken, since you're not supposed to apply it to a broken scalp. Rory says that the bubbles in a 7-Up will help the pain from bleaching her head. Really? Why didn't Rory think of that earlier? And why would she know that? Lane says they've only got something called "Salad Water" imported from Korea. "Tension" elevates until Lane decides to run around the block and Rory jams her head out the bathroom window to get some fresh air.
Stars Hollow High. Luke and Lorelai must have shown up at like, 5:20 now, but for some reason Bad Blonde Wig doesn't mind at all, and just waltzes them to the classroom. I don't understand Lorelai's Farrah Fawcett hair here, either. It's all winged back on the sides and curly. This scene here with Bad Wig, Luke, and Lorelai, reminiscing about old times that nobody remembers and mean nothing to us is pretty boring. Bad Wig remembers something rude that Lorelai once said to a stranger (no surprise here), and Lorelai pretends to remember saying it: "Hey, Old Man. Stick a crowbar in your wallet and cough up some dough, because this is for our kids!" Lorelai just mumbles and shouts and it's like, the oldest sitcom joke in the book, but whatever. Bad Wig excuses herself. Lorelai looks outside and sees Lane running around the town with her head covered in bleach. Now, why isn't Lane in school? Why wouldn't MamaLane make Lane have to stay after and do something this dorky? There are other kids still stuck at school. Lorelai tells Luke to lighten up. He pouts and says he won't. He hates the school. I love Lorelai's skirt. She's going through her notecards for the talk. Luke can't believe she prepared what she was going to say: "I run a diner. What are my notes?" He says he basically makes food, serves food, and refills coffee. Lorelai walks over to the trophy case and finds Luke's yearbook photo. His nickname was "Butch," and it says he was a State Champion in 1985. Luke asks what that's doing in there. Lorelai says it's yelling, "Mock me! Mock me!" The teasing continues about his shorts and tank top in the photograph and whether Luke's girlfriend in high school was named "Sissy." The scene ends on a non-joke.