Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Loves Me, Loves Me Not
By Cate | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.13.2000
Lucy asks Ruthie why she's so sad, to which Ruthie replies, "The same reason I'm always sad: the babies have ruined my life." Ruthie glumly bitches about Valentine's Day some more and then leaves. Lucy smiles as if this little tirade had been cute.
SuperMom answers the phone to hear Robbie on the other end. She can't wait to hand over the phone to Mary, but Robbie wants to talk to Annie instead. He tells some convoluted story about wanting to take Mary to the Tick Tock Diner where his parents first met so they can all have Valentine's dinner together. I won't argue with Robbie over the part where he says this ritual is "crazy." SuperMom agrees to talk to Eric about it, and also to keep it a secret from Mary so that it will be a surprise. Lucy runs through the kitchen on her way to do some work in the garage. She apologizes for working on the Sabbath, but claims it's for a good cause. Annie asks her if it's something for the twins. Annie, I really hope that when listening to you solicit gifts ad nauseam makes me take up smoking again, you'll be pleased. I really do. Simon and his little girlfriend Deena charge in through the kitchen door and go off somewhere, holding hands and looking as though they're about to have sex. RevCam comes in the door, and Annie asks him what's up with Simon. RevCam doesn't know but thinks it has something to do with Valentine's Day. He starts nattering on about Valentine's Day bringing up issues. I don't understand him, and neither does SuperMom. All I can really make out is that he has "issues" regarding the twins. Lovely.
Deena is bitching at Simon for giving her a hickey. She's especially mad because she only owns two turtlenecks. Simon asks to see her neck and then looks all horndog proud of the territorial mark he's left there. Deena shoots him a dirty look, and he stops laughing. She says, "I'm going to do the same to you, because that's the only fair thing to do." Huh? Simple Simon and his little girlfriend are plenty weird, but this is odd even for them. I remember the episode where they talked about scheduling their "make-out sessions." If they were ten years older than they are now, I could picture them scheduling sex -- once a week, on Friday nights, in bed with the lights out, always saving things like love bites for "Special Occasions." ["I was going to make a snide comment about the missionary position here, but then I had to go throw up for three hours." -- Sars]
Dopey's energetically mopping the hospital cafeteria floor when Heather comes up to him and says, "Is that a mop, or are you just happy to see me?" There's no way Barry Watson can make laughing at that joke believable, and I don't blame him one iota. He just stands around looking uncomfortable as hell that he's on a show where jokes like that get told. The actress who plays Heather doesn't look much happier at having to say that line, either. At least it's finally time for the opening credits and some commercials.
Dopey's long-suffering roommate, John, keeps unplugging the phone when it rings. That's kinda rude, if you ask me, although I assume it's Chickenhead he keeps hanging up on, so I guess it's okay. Dopey and Heather walk in. Dopey wants to know if Shana's called. John looks irritated as he says, "Yes, she did, more than once." He adds that Chickenhead is going out but that she'll call Dopey when she gets back. Okay, then I'm confused: Who was John hanging up on before? Heather says she likes the bunk beds, which I've never seen before. "Really?" says Dopey. "Shana hates them." We're saved from having to hear what else Shana likes and dislikes when Heather informs us that she's transferred to Crawford. I am amazed at how much new information we've received in the past few episodes: the names of the twins, the name of the school Dopey and John attend, the fact that they actually have beds of some sort in their swingin' bachelor pad. Anyway, John is surprised that Dopey never told him Heather transferred to their school. Dopey looks around shiftily. I can see why Dopey would want to keep Chickenhead in the dark concerning Heather; I have no idea why John's not supposed to know. What can I say? The stupid are different from you and me.