Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Loves Me, Loves Me Not
By Cate | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.13.2000
The phone rings. Mary answers it to hear Chickenhead clucking about Matt. Mary tells her that Dopey has left the building, which leads Chicken to start complaining about not being able to reach him anywhere. She says she shouldn't ask this of Mary, but she needs to know if Dopey is seeing someone else. As soon as the question is out of her mouth, she retracts it. It's too late, though, because Mary answers it anyway, saying that Dopey is just hanging out with Heather, so Chicken shouldn't worry, since Dopey and Heather are just friends. Chickenhead looks pissed, though she puts on a brave front for Mary, even when Mary offers to have both Matt and Heather call her if they come by. Chickenhead puts a bit of spin on the word "them" when she says, "Yes, have them call me," but Mary is too dumb and self-involved to notice. As soon as she hangs up on Chickenhead, she dials a local number and waits while the phone rings, but no one picks it up. Lucy walks in and asks who Mary's calling, which is pretty damn rude, actually, but I think it's done just so the stupider viewers will know for sure that Mary's been calling Robbie, even though he's supposed to be at work. Lucy tells Mary not to torture herself since she'll be seeing Robbie tomorrow, on Valentine's Day, when he'll be giving her a present. Lucy asks, "Isn't that enough?" Mary wishes that she and the CamRents could trust Robbie. Lucy points out that their parents don't trust any guys they go out with. You'd think Mary would remember that, considering that RevCam is always stalking his daughters whenever they're out on dates.
Dopey and Heather are at a restaurant, discussing why Dopey has not told Chickenhead yet about Heather's return. He claims that he has to time everything perfectly now that he is in a long-distance relationship. He gets distracted when he looks across the room to see Robbie standing with his skanky-looking girlfriend -- the skank who's not Mary, I mean. Robbie sees Dopey staring at him, so he comes over to say hi. He and Dopey briefly insult each other about being out with women who are not their girlfriends. Then Robbie tries to pretend that his non-Mary girlfriend is actually his brother's girlfriend, while Dopey pretends that Heather and Shana are great friends. The scene creaks along in this fashion for a while, until Dopey promises Heather that he will tell Chickenhead she's back in town.
Simon's lying on his bed, reading. Ruthie comes in to ask him, "What's with the 'turtle shirt'?" Nothing perks up a dull show quicker than a little Family Circus-style humour! Ruthie leaves, but not before threatening that things will get "interesting" tomorrow. Please, Ruthie, don't torture me with your empty promises. Simon replies with a reminder for Ruthie to come up with some gifts for the twins. Then he talks to Happy for a bit, saying, "I bit a person, and then I let a person bite me. What was I thinking?" Happy barks once, trying futilely to get Simon to shut up with the TMI.