Episode Report Card Kelsea Stahler: A+ | 67 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Pussycat Scratch
By Kelsea Stahler | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.13.2013
And while everyone else is busy growing up, Emily is getting lectures from a priest. Father Paul calls her and says that he did all he could to make Conrad confess, but that if Conrad doesn’t, Paul will confess. "You’re not God either … move on before you lose yourself," he advises Emily as he reveals that having his life ruined by Emily helped him understand what he did to David Clarke. He now wants to clear Clarke’s name, no matter what. Seriously, Em. Listen to him.
But Emily does get one small victory: Jack is starting to soften on her now that he’s had a little fun. Em stops by to thank Jack for taking care of Charlotte the way she wishes she could; after all, Charlotte is Emily’s only remaining family. And when Margaux comes in, Emily doesn’t greet her coldly, causing Jack to give Emily the warm look he used to send her way on the regular. Get ready for the return of Jack-as-Emily’s-true-love, everyone.
Meanwhile, Emily’s other long-time love is showing his cards. Aidan tells Victoria that he was wrong; the foreign bank accounts belong to some guy named Ira in Miami. This is his way out of actually implicating Emily, because as it turns out, she begged him to come back and help her and he did, like a good, loyal steed. Although Aidan is pulling the rug out from under her, Victoria takes the bait. She still thinks they both know Emily is a bad person, so she offers him room and board in her house so they can figure it out together. (Or so she can start running Victoria’s home for really, really ridiculously good-looking men). And that was his plan all along.
One part of the plan doesn’t quite work the way Em and Aidan intended, though. Daniel installs an alarm system at Emily’s house because he’s concerned about Aidan being back. Daniel tells Emily that the night of Conrad’s election, Aidan was in Em’s house waiting and he attacked Daniel. Daniel found her gun and shot Aidan and thought he was gone for good. Now that he’s back, he’s back for one of them and Daniel (and his newfound authority) aren’t taking any chances. That’ll make Emily’s scheming a bit more difficult… right up to the point where she gives her accomplices the code. Duh. Chill out, Ems. This is doable.
In the final moments of the episode, Conrad tells Victoria he’s turning himself in to the authorities and leaving her with her (dead) true love. She’s so angry (and who wouldn’t be after this week’s beat down?) that she literally scratches his face. With her nails. Like a five-foot-something cat woman with severe anger imbalances. She then smashes a vase like a Lifetime movie heroine and chases after Conrad as he escapes with Father Paul in the Lamborghini. Oh right, this is a campy soap opera... in case you managed to forget.