Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B | 38 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT The Ballad Of Charlie And Hiro
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 2006.11.13
...Ted's holding room, where Audrey sets a glass of water in front of the detainee. Ted looks into it sadly, expositing, "You wouldn't even let me go to my wife's funeral." Aw! As Audrey takes a position holding up the wall, she tells Ted that they need him to answer some questions. Ted bitterly asks if she can't just get her "partner here," indicating Matt, to look inside his head, but Audrey explains that they need it on the record. She reminds us that Ted burned up a bunch of stuff and probably gave his wife cancer, and asks how he did it. Taking the "Good Cop" gig, Matt eagerly swoops into the chair across the table from Ted and tells him that if he doesn't let Matt and Audrey help him, Ted will get taken away where no one will listen to him. Exasperated, Ted sighs that it doesn't matter: "Nothing matters! I killed my wife!" Ted slams his palms down on the table, causing a jittery Matt to check his dosimeter, now -- like Audrey's -- displaying a bar the colour of tomato soup. So...not dark green. Matt tries to draw Audrey's attention to the fact that they're sitting in a giant microwave right now, but she is focused on the agitated Ted, who's ranting, "You know, just lock me up. Execute me. Leave me the hell alone! ...I don't know anything about any nuclear material!" Matt starts to twig that they wouldn't like Ted when he's angry, and tries to soothe him, but Ted's not having it: "Do you want me to be a terrorist, huh? You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. I'll blow this place apart!" Ted closes his hands around the glass of water, and of course the water immediately starts boiling. Matt stands up, still trying to calm Ted down, but of course Audrey has to escalate the situation by drawing on Ted, who screams, "Do it! DO IT!" Matt's like, "Y'all, let's just mellow out," trying to explain that he knows what Ted is going through. Ted is dubious, but Matt reminds him, "You've seen what I can do!" The soundtrack is all alarmed and the camera keeps cutting back to the glass gripped in Ted's hands, but...like, it's four ounces of boiling water. Okay, he boiled it with his mind, or whatever, but let's not all freak out like he's menacing Matt and Audrey with a cup of lava; this whole situation could be defused if only someone could bust out a sachet of Top Ramen.