Episode Report Card Gustave: A- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Can you dig it?
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2001.12.18
Don't you love it when they broadcast the same commercial twice in one commercial break? What are they thinking? It's the advertising equivalent of pushing the elevator button a couple extra times in the vain hope that your extra pushes will bring the elevator faster. But sometimes it comes in handy. Like this ad for the new James Marsden war movie. Hey, was that Rolling Stone who called it one of the "best movies" of the year? Why yes, indeed, it is. And the Beautiful by Estee Lauder ad? Fascinating. I can't take my eyes off of Elizabeth Hurley as the bride at a wedding…where there's no groom. She just kind of exits this church with these two kids, and then she and her wedding party get on this boat and she just frolics to "Beautiful Morning" by the Rascals with these two kids on the boat with her wedding party, but there's no discernable male around whom she seems to have just married. Maybe she married the kids. Come to think of it, it's been a while since the Lauder family told ol' Paulina Porizkova to take a hike and replaced her with Elizabeth Hurley. Shouldn't Liz be getting the boot soon? I also heard that the execs are concerned because Liz's skin has "turned" and the makeup artists have to work a lot harder than they used to to get Liz "ready" for the camera.
The time is 5:27:16. Klockwise from the top, Spawn and Rick continue to "dig it," Kiefer reflects, and Palmer paces. Spawn and Rick's hole gets deeper, and so does the konversation. Rick digs over on his end of the grave and waxes rhapsodic over Evil Frat Boy #2 and the hell-raising life he led. Spawn does some digging of her own and compares his self-destructiveness to that of PMMS, and points out the irony of missing her own mother right now. "Must [dig] be nice [dig] having a mother [dig] you like [dig]," says Rick in what has to be the gayest line of the entire episode. Additional [dig]-spiked dialogue establishes that Rick didn't have too good a home life growing up, which is why he ended up in his present career as a freelance kidnapper of upper-middle-class teenage girls. Having unburdened themselves to each other sufficiently, Spawn wants to talk strategy. "We've [dig] got to get [dig] out of here [dig]," she whines but before they can hatch a plan, Ira Gaines enters and tells Spawn to follow him back to the TerrorShack. Spawn gives Gaines this really defiant look, so Gaines is all, "Leave the shovel behind unless you're going to use it on me." Spawn throws down her shovel and stomps off. Gaines tells Rick that he'd better have his friend "in the ground" by the time he comes back.