Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 241 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Little Monsters
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 2003.11.16
Once in the main office, Phoebe sort-of apologizes again, both for interrupting his meeting and for her odd behavior at the restaurant. She'd like to hash things out between the two of them, and Chronic's down with that until she suggests they meet that evening. Chronic begs off, claiming he's got a last-minute business trip to Rome, so Phoebe gets loud. As in "really loud." As in "my eardrums have now burst and geysers of blood are spurting from the sides of my head" loud. "I'VE HEARD OF GUYS RUNNING WHEN THEY HEAR THE L-WORD," she shrieks, "BUT RUNNING ALL THE WAY TO ITALY? THAT'S GOT TO BE SOME NEW KIND OF RECORD!" "It's got nothing to do with that, and you know it," Chronic hisses, trying to get her to dial it down a notch. "That's a crock!" she screams. "We both know how you feel about me! The only difference is, I'm not the one who's afraid of it." She glares at him for a moment before sarcastically perking, "Ciao!" Phoebe blows past Chronic as Chronic pouts. Again, less with the emoting and more with the shutting up, asshole.
Back on the sun porch, Big Gay Chris has returned from the attic with the Book of Shadows and some relevant information. Piper observes him wearily as Big Chris reads, "Vicious demons with supernatural strength and venomous claws, Manticores communicate in high-pitched cries and tend to travel in packs." Chris, dude. That entry could easily refer to the Glamorous Ladies. Are you sure you didn't just scribble it down out of spite for their ongoing treatment of you? Hmmm? He ignores me to frost Piper with a withering, "Great!" before suggesting they "get rid of the little brat before the pack comes looking for him." Piper rolls her eyes and sarcastically wonders if they should have THE BLACK HOLE OF SOCIAL SERVICES fetch the tot from the Manor. "No," Big Chris retorts, speaking to her as if she were a particularly obstinate and stupid child, "I suggest you vanquish him." Piper claims that as a mother, she's incapable of offing infants, even if they are of demonic extraction. So if she had remained barren, she'd have no problem impaling newborns on spikes? That makes sense. Not. Big Chris crosses from the table to plant his pretty self right in front of her and urges, "You gotta stop looking at him like he's a little baby, and start looking at him like he's an unstoppable killing machine." "But still," Piper dodges uneasily, avoiding his eyes. "'But still' nothing," he shoots back. "You're supposed to protect the innocents," he reminds her. "Think of all the future innocents you can save by vanquishing him right now." "Don't you think I know that?" she demands a bit helplessly. "I'm scared to death of what he could possibly do to [The Doltine Psycho], but I can't even separate them." "There's one thing you can do, and you know it," Big Chris rather vaguely insists, laying it on the line. "And you better do it fast before any other Manticores show up. There's no known vanquishing potion." "I just…can't," Piper admits finally. Big Chris sighs in frustration, and orbs out to fetch the Dolt in the hope that he can beat some sense into his ex-wife.