Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Party Animals
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 07.17.2011
Speaking of embarrassments, it's Kim G! The only person who's later than Teresa. And she has brought with her Juicy and Teresa's nemesis Monica Chacon, a.k.a. the wife of the lawyer of the guy who sued Juicy. Yes, it's complicated. Before they even get in the door, Kim G. and Monica are cackling and making jibes about Teresa and Juicy. Then they get in the door, grab drinks as quickly as possible and toast to "people learning how to control themselves." So this is going to turn out well...
Juicy gets wind of the women's arrival and warns Teresa not to say a word to them. Of course Kathy makes a beeline for Kim G. and gives her a warm hug. Across the room, even Melissa wants Monica to leave because she doesn't know her. She tells Caroline she's going to ask Monica to leave, and Caroline advises her to do it away from everybody. Melissa heads over and is reminded that she met Monica at the Posche fashion show. Teresa skulks in the background, waiting for the Gorgas to kick Monica out as Melissa dispenses of the pleasantries.
She takes Kim G. aside to tell her that Teresa is uncomfortable and wonders if Monica might be, too. Kim G. is proudly combative, being all, "Monica's not afraid of her!" Seeing that Kim G. is not exactly grasping the nuance of the conversation, Melissa tells her that she can't let Monica stay. Kim's response? "Oh, I can't do that." Wow. Back in the other room, Teresa is practically foaming at the mouth. Caroline tries to point out that Melissa and Joe have her back and are trying to do the right thing, but Teresa's all, "They will have done the right thing when I don't see [Monica] anymore." Meanwhile, Kim G. is insisting that Monica is "a classy woman" and won't run afoul of the holiday spirit. Which is neither here nor there since the hosts have explicitly said they want her gone. Joe holds firms, but Kim G. still insists that the fault lies with Teresa.
Joe won't hear it, at which point Jacqueline intervenes. Kim G. continues to insist Teresa is the problem. Then Monica comes on the scene. For the love! She claims that "it's been three-and-a-half years of complete nightmare and torture on [her] part." Which, again, has nothing to do with the fact that someone wants you to leave their house. You're not going to argue your way out of that one, sister. Melissa has to be the voice of reason, which is quite a feat when you look like Swan Lake, the disco ball rendition. She tells Monica she's got to go. Even Monica says she understands, and Kim's all "Can we just stay in another part of the house?" Seriously?! Melissa is horrified that she has to ask them repeatedly to leave. She says, "I will be devastated if anyone ruins this party." Kim keeps talking up a storm, so Joe's finally like, "It's my house," and Melissa escorts them out the door. All the while, Teresa has a supremely smug look on her face. Jacqueline -- I would argue -- unwisely tells Kim G. she needs to patch things up with Teresa. And because you can't argue with crazy, Kim G. insists that Teresa owes her an apology. Jacqueline interviews ominously that Kim G. is messing with a family -- one that has plenty of problems without her batshit meddling.