Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Incest Is Best
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 08.13.2005
Intake time. The Corpse of the Week's mom ["also Dead Scott's mom from 90210 -- she's everywhere, that lady" -- Sars] is requesting to David and Rico that her son be made to look "whole again" for the viewing. "People should see more than just what happened to him." By which she means prosthetic limbs. Rico's on top of it, saying he's already got a call in to the prosthetics company. By which he of course means "pet store." The blonde woman from the first scene is also here, but she's not on the same page as Mom, or really even the same library. She drones, "Can you stand him up and make him walk around, too? Can you make him maybe, like, talk and tell everybody that it's all good and it's really no problem to be dead?" Her voice rises: "Maybe just stick your hand up inside his head and, you know, 'Everything's fine, everything's fine, freedom! Freedom! Freedom!'" Before either Rico or an increasingly distressed David can say that sure, they can do that but it's going to be extra, Mom puts a stop to Sister's rant: "Are we gonna tell all the people at the funeral that he killed himself, too?" Sister concedes the point. CotW's suicide is clearly news to our heroes. MamaCotW explains that her son took an injection from a needle whose source is still a mystery, while Sister sits there looking guiltier than the perp on every episode ever of Law & Order: I Did It. Mom thinks a night nurse was behind it. "They're so understaffed over there. They're taking anybody." Hey, Rico should tell Vanessa. She'll turn out to be up for a career change later on tonight. Mom turns to her daughter and says, Ruth-like, "I don't know why you have to rub everyone's noses in it. It is such a violent impulse." David just sits there, looking like he just wants this to be over before he has to speak.
Maya's riding in the back of Ruth's car, rubbing her ear as she looks out the window at the passing rear projection. "Should we have tubes put in her ears?" Ruth asks George as she drives. George quickly answers, "No! It's a whole surgical procedure under general anesthetic." Also, Ruth? Not your kid, six weeks of free babysitting or no. Props to the writers for coming up with such a fast and an efficient way to show how Ruth's boundaries have broken down where her granddaughter is concerned. Ruth is still complaining about the frequency of Maya's ear infections, so George suggests asking the doctor about putting her on preventative antibiotics for a few months. Ruth is surprised to hear that they do that, and then she's surprised that George knows so much about the subject. Because he can't simply say, "On the internet," he explains that he "joined an online pediatric news group." Ruth's impressed, and looks at Maya in the rearview mirror before thanking George for coming along "and for being a friend lately." George is glad he can help. Ruth finally blurts, "I don't want to let her go, George. I don't." George knows.
Rico and David walk the CotW's mom and sister to the door as the bereaved women thank Rico. David says they'll see them the next day at two. After Mom's out the door, the sister turns and apologizes to David. "He was the only brother I'll ever have, you know?" she says. "I'll never have another brother." She almost seems to be flirting with him, and I later find out that the actress is Michael C. Hall's wife. Get a room, you two. Despite the anvil on his chest constricting his breathing, David manages to say that it wasn't a problem. Rico's standing there by the open door in the background this whole time, looking very undertakerly. Sister thanks David, shakes his hand, and leaves. Rico closes the door behind her. David's about to go back to work, but Rico stops him. He tries to ease into what he's about to say, but Rico's about as good at easing as he is at dunking basketballs and not cheating with strippers. His point is that "At some point we're gonna have to sit down and talk about the future of the business." David agrees, and asks if it has to be today. Rico says obviously not, but he needs to know when, then. David, trying to hold it together, says he doesn't know when he'll be able to. "It's just, I got a family I'm trying to think about," Rico pushes. Oops. If it were anyone else but Rico, I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt on what he meant by that. But David isn't. He angrily cuts his eyes to one side and says, "So do I. I have a fucking husband, Rico. I have two children. When are you going to realize I'm a human being just like you? When?" Rico doesn't say anything, shocked into silence by David's outburst. "When?" David repeats, just to clarify that he's not asking a rhetorical question. Rico looks like he's about to open his mouth and dig himself deeper, but then they're both distracted by the sound of shouting from outside.