Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "No! Jess! What About PROM?!"
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.28.2003
Lorelai makes small talk with a janitor until she just lies to him, walks past him, and enters Max's classroom. He's working. What time is it? Is it, like, 10 at night? He's working and the Booster club's meeting? What the heck? Anyway, Max doesn't want to see Lorelai. He says it's a bad time. She enters anyway. She asks if he's busy. He says he's really busy. She keeps coming closer, flirting more and more as he tries to blow her off. Lorelai says he's avoiding her. He says he's not. She asks why he's avoiding her by saying he's busy. He says he's really busy and not avoiding her. You get the point, right? Great. Anyway, Lorelai says he's supposed to make two rotations with the Boosters. He says he did three. She attended his last one. Lorelai asks for documentation. More small talk. Lorelai asks why he treated her so weird. He says he treated her with respect and kindness. Gilmores don't understand those two things, so Lorelai complains that she doesn't want him to treat her the same way he does all the other ladies, unless he mugged down with them, too. Max confesses that he did, and that Doug's a great kisser. This scene, besides being from completely out of nowhere, is so boring. Lorelai's making a big deal out of literally nothing, and Max has clearly stated he doesn't want to go anywhere near this woman who destroyed his heart less than a year ago. What's her problem? Why can't she see that? Instead, Lorelai actually chases Max around his desk as he begs her to leave him alone -- to stay ten feet away from him because he can't handle himself around her and he doesn't want to put himself in that position again. Lorelai is trying to pounce him. Max says this is where he works and there are people in the building and she's like a "mythological creature" that casts a spell on him and makes him act stupid: "I'm not stupid!" No? Then get the hell out of that room, Max.
Lorelai says she doesn't have a tape measure, so she can't stay exactly ten feet away. Max tells her to imagine a really big basketball player between them. Lorelai tries to joke and get closer, but Max pulls a chair between them. He says that he was seeing someone in California. Lorelai says that she was also seeing people when he was in California. Max says that he would still be seeing this woman named Diane if he hadn't left California, and since he'd still be dating her if he was with her, he shouldn't be dating anyone now because it wouldn't have been possible if he had stayed. I know. Just go with it. The scene is almost over. Lorelai offers to give Max an aspirin once he starts slapping his head, but she only has a Tic Tac and then apologizes for tantalizing him with something he couldn't have. Like her hand in marriage. Max says he thought they were both going to ignore the kiss. Lorelai says they didn't have a deal. Max: "You had your shot. Okay? You had the ring and you said no." Lorelai says that Max already told her that it was right for him, too, that they didn't get married. Oh, don't you turn this around and make it Max's fault, Lorelai. You left him. Max asks what right now is. "It's us," Lorelai says. "Ta da!" Max says they need to stay apart. Lorelai says they had a whole country between them for a year. I do believe that's this show's cheesiest line ever. "That's like eleven thousand basketball players lying end to end, and yet here we are." No, I guess that's the cheesiest line. Max says he thought he was over Lorelai and that it would be safe to come back to Chilton, but he was wrong. He says they should stay far away from each other, and possibly never see each other ever again. Amen. Lorelai says she'll see him at the Chilton graduation. He says he'll sit behind a tree. She says she might run into him at the drugstore again. He says he'll order his drugs online. And also, that wasn't her normal drugstore. Lorelai keeps chasing him and he keeps running away and the whole thing is so pathetic and unbelievable that I honestly don't care anymore. Max tells her to leave him alone. She won't. They're panting, for some reason. She pouts and says, "Whatever you want." "This is what I want," he says. I want this scene to end. "When I walk out that door, it could very well be the last time we see each other," sayd Max. Here's hoping. "Okay," Lorelai says. "I'll abide by your wishes." They say goodbye to each other. Max leaves.