Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "No! Jess! What About PROM?!"
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.28.2003
Rory runs down the stairs, crying, and runs right into CuteDean, who always hangs out near Rory. Lindsay is nowhere to be seen as CuteDean asks Rory if she's okay. "Yes," she says, digging her fingers into her eyes. At the top of the stairs, Jess watches Rory cry in CuteDean's arms. "No, I don't know," Rory cries. CuteDean asks what happened. Jess comes down the stairs and stops between Rory and CuteDean. He huffs and sneers, "Figures." Yeah, I agree, Jess. You've got a point on that one. But you did just scream at Rory for not putting out fast enough. CuteDean has had enough of this shit, and follows Jess downstairs. "Dean, no!" Rory shouts, following him.
CuteDean turns Jess around and punches him in the face. Jess flies back against the wall. Now, any other girl in the world would be screaming and crying right now, but Rory's kind of watching it with fascination. I guess this is what she's been wanting all along, so she's only kind of asking them to stop fighting. The entire party isn't even paying attention, which makes no sense at all. Some extra makes a huge deal out of dropping his beer as Jess turns around and pushes CuteDean. Jess isn't tall enough to punch CuteDean in the head, so they just tangle a while. Another punch. More wrestling. Jess is so much smaller than CuteDean that it seems CuteDean is fighting a ferret. The extra with the beer somehow pulls CuteDean off Jess by pulling on the back of his shirt. Uh huh. Then beer kid flies through the air for no reason as Jess pushes CuteDean into the kitchen. CuteDean slams Jess into the counter, knocking over napkins and bowls. Rory is still just watching. More wrestling beside the keg. Girls are now shouting, "Fight! Fight!" Finally, Rory shouts for them to stop, but other kids are so excited to see someone finally beat the crap out of Jess. CuteDean slams Jess into the refrigerator.
Meanwhile, five feet away, nobody is aware of the fight going on. Jung Chu wanders over to Dave. They're back by the cat house. Jung Chu tells Dave not to touch him. Dave promises not to touch him, but thinks it's time they discussed the Lane situation. Jung Chu makes Dave promise that they'll just talk. Just then, the swinging doors open and the fighting boys run into Dave, who falls on Jung Chu, who thinks Dave is trying to kick his ass.
Jess pushes CuteDean into all of the band's equipment. I love how they're pushing and falling into room after room, and nobody has gathered to watch or break up the fight. Also, no punches are thrown. But if you pause right when Jess is on top of CuteDean, right before the band under-reacts to seeing their equipment get demolished, you can see Milo Ventimiglia's ass. Rick pulls the boys apart with his superhuman twenty-one-year-old strength. CuteDean pushes Rick and he flies across the room. CuteDean and Jess continue to push and hug each other. CuteDean shoves Jess into art. Jess punches CuteDean, who makes a big deal out of gripping the staircase. Rick and The kid with the beer push CuteDean and Jess out of the house. The fight continues on the lawn, where Rory once again tries to make them stop fighting by kind of asking them to stop fighting. Everyone at the party is still cheering on the fight as CuteDean performs a nice shoulder roll toward the camera. Beer Kid is now holding Jess while CuteDean punches him. Immediately, the cops arrive as Rick and Beer Kid let go of CuteDean and Jess. Everyone stares as Rick announces, fifteen seconds after it's obvious, "Cops." Kyle and Marshall mourn the death of Boy with Toothache. The cops tell the kids to drop their beer cups and go home. Good work, officers. Do you want the kids to drive home, too? Rory takes a step forward and says, "Jess." Jess turns and walks away. Good riddance! Rory sees Lane puking in the bushes. She runs and holds her friend's hair, obviously happy not to have to talk to Jess again tonight. We watch Jess slowly walk home. Shit, so he's not going to get arrested? And what about CuteDean? Wait? The episode didn't resolve a single plotline!