Episode Report Card Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Monkeyshines
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.30.2009
Jack's office. Lemon enters to do damage control about the gibbon debacle, but Jack is blissfully ignorant as he watches Some Like It Hot in honor of his parents. Lemon notes that the movie was released in 1959. Recognition suddenly flashes across Jack's eyes as he puts the pieces together that he was conceived in 1958, when his father was still out of the picture. Jack is a Donaghy only in name.
A smiling gibbon in a sailor suit walks into a bar...
Mom-Ebola Dearest
Jack: He treated her like dirt all those years -- coming and going, taking up with other women, including more than one Unitarian. I promised myself I would tell him off. I had my speech all planned. But I always chickened out. It's the biggest regret of my life, Lemon. And I once made love to Kathy Hilton.
Lemon: Do you want a... hug?
Jack: What is this, the Italian Parliament? No. Thank you, Lemon.
Lemon: Well you're a good son. I know she's not easy.
Jonathan: Sir, your mother had me move her from The Plaza to The Carlyle. Evidently the concierge at The Plaza has a beard, and she'd rather not get raped.
Post-Racial Pissing Contest
Lemon: Did you guys know about this?
Dot-Com: Tracy has asked us to read this prepared statement: "Dear racist Liz Lemon: This is how you treat me, like a white-whiskered gibbon, put on this Earth to do nothing but dance around for your amusement and reduce the insect population of Malaysia."
Lemon: I don't know which of these five cell phone numbers he answers, but you get Tracy down here right now.
Pete: Why? The gibbon is on time, he knows his blocking, and he doesn't try to bite the dancers.
Tracy [slow claps]: I think I've proven my point.
Lemon: Oh my God! Like we really have time for you to walk down the stairs that slowly!
Lemon: Tracy, it costs the show a lot of money when you pull these... shenanigans.
Tracy: Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon. We have a Black president now.
Lemon: What do you care? You voted for Nader.
Tracy: This is post-racial America, and I demand to be treated like everyone else.
Lemon: You want to be treated like everybody else? Fantastic! Then tomorrow I'm sending a regular Town Car for you instead of one of those duck boats...
Tracy: Fine.
Lemon: ...and you're not allowed to point at women in the cafeteria and yell, "I wanna get that pregnant!"
Or an Over-Zealous Tourist