Episode Report Card Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Monkeyshines
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.30.2009
Jenna: What are you doing with him?
Kenneth: Oh, Mr. Jordan said he doesn't need it anymore.
Jenna: So you're just letting him go?
Kenneth: Oh, don't worry. Once it tries to mate with a child, I'm sure Animal Control will just shoot it.
Baz Luhrmann Presents: Boca Raton!
Jack: Lemon, Colleen brought her boyfriend. His name is Paul.
Lemon: What? Really?
Jack: I don't like this guy. I don't trust him. I mean, he's four years younger. He wears a pinky ring. When the waiter brought over our food, he said, "abbondanza"?
Lemon: Okay, Jack, I know this a stressful time for you and your mother...
Jack: You're right. I don't like the timing of this at all. Colleen is very vulnerable right now, and scam artists can smell that sort of thing. Have you ever been to Florida? It's practically a criminal population. It's America's Australia!
Lemon: Come on. Maybe he just likes her. You know some men like older women.
Jack: Let's not make this about you, okay?
What Do Mariachi Monkeys, Pigs, and Nut Sacks Have in Common?
Kenneth: Miss Maroney, I have the ukulele you asked for.
Jenna: Oh, it's not for me. Someone's in a little Mariachi band today!
Kenneth: Ma'am, this is a wild animal. You can't treat it like a person!
Jenna: No, he's happy. His costume is hiding his erection.
Kenneth: Well, as a child, I had a prized pig that I thought was my best friend. But then one day I picked up one of her piglets. She went crazy! She bit off my nut sack... that I kept tied around my belt to feed squirrels.
People Under Glass Ceilings...
Lemon: Jack, do you treat me any different because I'm a woman?
Jack: Well, I pay you a little less, yes.
Scott Bakula Rejoices at His Sudden Surge Back to Relevance
Jack: I have an opportunity here, Lemon: A chance to go back to the past to put things right that once went wrong.
Lemon: That's the Quantum Leap intro.
Like Dictator, Like Dickhead
Jack: Now what I originally wrote for my father may be dated. Who would be our current Nikita Khrushchev?
Lemon: Simon Cowell?
Added to My Wish List
Paul: Oh, hello Jack! I'm sorry, your mom's out shopping.
Jack: I know. My credit card company called to confirm my purchase of a book called Intercourse After Hip Surgery.
Plato's Retreat 2.0
Colleen: It's Florida, Jack! It's like it never stopped being the '70s down there. And a guy like Paul -- who can drive at night! -- you just don't say no to that.