Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A- | 6 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Tit For Splat
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 2007.08.30
In the supermarket, Betty is shopping when she catches sight of Helen and calls to her. Helen haltingly tells her that she wasn't going to say anything, but she found the lock of hair that Betty gave her son Glen. Betty eventually cops to it, and Helen basically tells her that she's a freak, prompting Betty to slap her and leave the store posthaste. No one in the market utters a "Meeeeooooowwww!" sound, which is severely disappointing. Helen looks flabbergasted, which seems about right.
Roger and Don are out having a lunch of oysters, cheesecake, and numerous martinis, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think they're preparing for an encounter that would make Salvatore positively livid with jealousy. Roger is basically baiting Don to keep up with him, and Don is very much up for the challenge. Later, they drunkenly gossip about Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball, and Roger says he likes redheads (er, no kidding): "Their mouths are like a drop of strawberry jam in a glass of milk." Don mushmouths that he doesn't like milk and hates cows, but given what's to come, I think maybe he's putting it on a little bit. He gets Roger to agree to one more, and Roger insinuates that that would be a mistake on Don's part, but he's game nonetheless. You guys, just play Hour of Power and get it over with.
Betty is sitting alone at her dining room table having a glass of wine and a cigarette when the doorbell rings; it's Francine, who's made an excuse to come by because she heard about The Great Slap A Divorcee Incident. Francine tells Betty she's worried about her. That makes a billion of us. Betty confesses she doesn't know what happened (although she of course doesn't say anything about the hair), and Francine bitterly says she doesn't know anyone who wouldn't have wanted to do the same. After an oddly-placed remark about how much she hates JFK, Betty wonders what people will think, but Francine tells her they'll be glad to know she's not a marshmallow; people think she's so sweet and perfect. Betty: "I'm not." Hear, hear. Francine assures Betty that Helen will be the one to suffer socially for the incident, but Betty brings up her BEAUTIFUL mother again, and when Francine asks what Dr. Wayne says, I wish I could be the one to answer that she needs to forget everything her mother ever taught her as quickly as possible. Francine says she's dying to try therapy, and Betty tells her that she's pretty sure Dr. Wayne tried to look down her neckline the other day. She goes on that she feels like having men check her out in that way is part of being a success as a woman, but basically confesses that she enjoys it as well, lending credence to my earlier analysis of what happened with Roger. Francine confesses that she's just as into having men check her out as Betty is, and then Betty sends her off, saying nap time is almost over. No wonder Dr. Wayne is having trouble making progress here. I don't even know where to start!