Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Space-Invading Bed Intruders
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 02.08.2011
So, where is Joe? Up on the mothership. Erica joins him like it's no big thing. And Joe is acting like it's no big thing that he is up on a giant ass spaceship. I mean, even if you hate the Visitors and what they are doing to your kid, there has still got to be a bit of: HOLY SHIT, SPACE SHIP!!!! But not Joe, he's just acting like he's at the in-law's house in Topeka trying not to stick to the plastic-covered couch. Erica walks in and asks what's up. Quick aside: Don't these people know that phones can be used to relay information? And, doesn't Erica have a day job and hundreds of names to vet before the gala tonight? Whatever. Joe explains that Tyler called him and said that Anna has a birthday present for him. Anna joins the merry crew and presents Tyler with his Super Most Awesome Present: he gets to be the first human to ever pilot a space shuttle! Tyler looks like he's going to die, and actually kisses Anna on the cheek before running off to look at the space shuttle while Erica meekly bleats, "He has school." Anna smiles that Tyler is special and Erica and Joe look a little sick. Anna excuses herself and Lisa lags behind to tell Erica and Joe that she doesn't know what this gift means, but Anna needs Tyler for her Concordia plan. Lisa leaves quickly as to not draw suspicion and Erica and Joe show each other their "concerned".
It should not be surprising to anyone that the person brought in to be Chad Decker's counterpart is a pretty blonde lady with big blue eyes and a solid repertoire of ten-cent words. She is basically Chad in a skirt suit. Chad and the lady Chad banter about whether the Visitors are actually a Trojan Horse. The lady Chad wins the argument and is offered the job. Chad kindly says that the world deserves to hear both sides of the argument, but now it looks like he is saying it just to get laid by his female doppelganger, which I think is legal in this country, but probably shouldn't be. Self incest or something.
Back at FBI HQ, while Erica's partner is the new kid in the office and probably shouldn't be saying anything, he couldn't help but notice that she was gone a really long time. She glares at him and says something noncommittal about family drama and then orders him to get her a sandwich, light mayo, because he is a newbie. Then she heads out to hold a briefing that, yes, she is prepared for despite being gone all day planning a surprise party for her son. No. 2 is waiting in the conference room along with the rest of the task force, but before they can begin, Anna has a message for them. A hologram of Anna pops up and she starts addressing the group. It looks like a recording, so it's kind of awkward when Erica starts talking to it. Everyone sort of stares at her, but then Anna responds, proving that Anna delivering a recorded message and Anna speaking to a live audience look exactly the same, e.g. like a block o' balsa wood with lipstick. By some silent mutual agreement, Erica and Anna pretend that they didn't just see each other. Anna thanks everyone for working so hard to provide security for her gala. Erica swears they will do everything to guarantee her safety.
Cut to Erica at the Fab Four HQ where she is meeting with Eli Cohen, because as a woman it is her prerogative to change her mind, and as a mother, she can't let Tyler become a space shuttle pilot. Killing Anna will put Tyler back on track to be the orthodontist of his mother's dreams. Erica has a plan for Anna's assassination: Father Jack will bring a rabble-rousing crowd to one side of the building, causing the FBI to detach a security team to deal with it. Erica will then let Kyle into the building with a sharpshooter rifle to take Anna out. Ryan helpfully adds that the Visitors' hearts are on the right side, not the left. Success is in the details! So... wait. Why do they need Eli Cohen for this operation? He announces he will be Kyle's spotter, but that's kind of lame. Ryan can't join the fun because his face is too recognizable. Father Jack is having a lot of doubts because their plan means he will have to directly contravene the Vatican's orders against speaking out against the Visitors. Erica stares at him blankly and you can almost see the twinge of an internal struggle before Jack nods that he will do it. Meanwhile the FBI and the Visitors lay out their plan for securing the gala, but No.2 reports that the Visitors will be providing Anna's personal security detail. Her safety is their top priority. Cut to Erica and Eli sharing some meaningful eye contact over how good a plan this is and how it just might work. I have to say, if they manage to kill Anna, I think I will have renewed interest and hope for this show. But, there is no way they are going to kill her. Right? Right.
Up on the ship, Anna and Mr. Turtleneck are staring at the architect's rendering of Concordia. A 3-D rendering of a ship lands on the models' turrets and little alien breeders come spilling out of the ship (not really). Mr. Turtleneck assures her that everything is in place for tonight and that their plan is coming together perfectly. Red Sky prepared the women of earth for breeding with lizards and now the design of the buildings will allow for raping, pillaging, and collecting the women of earth and people will never know what's happening until it's too late. While I get the Bed Intruder Song stuck in my head ("Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, 'cause they're rapin' everybody out here") some rather ominous music starts up and swells to its crescendo as Anna states that the humans think they are preparing for the future when they are really destroying themselves or something ("You are so dumb, you are sooo-ooo dumb.")