Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Enemy Of My Enemy Is...
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 08.12.1999
And just like that, Durka's roaming the corridors with both of Aeryn's guns when he runs into Chiana. She tells him Moya's pregnant, but if they kill the baby, they'll be able to starburst. He tells her to cough up some new information if she values her life, so she tells him that he's headed in the wrong direction, as the ship reconfigured the data to send him into a trap. Durka asks why he should believe her, and she points out that they both want the same thing.
Crichton's waiting around a corner in the cargo hold when the door opens and Durka shoves Chiana inside. She tries to lure him in, but he smells a rat and shoots at Chiana, who tries to dive out of the way but takes it in the arm. I read somewhere that this shot was originally intended to kill Chiana, but when the writers realized they had a great character on their hands, they reconsidered. So I guess Chiana's not only the Jean Valjean of Farscape but the Xena as well, which only further strengthens my contention that they really should have done a musical episode at some point. (Don't email me to ask me what the hell I'm talking about, because I have no idea.) Anyway, Crichton rushes out and closes the door. Durka heads back the way he came, Crichton tends to Chiana, and they snark at each other about the failure of the plan. Crichton wants to see the wound, but Chiana, in obvious pain, points out that Durka's trying to kill them all, so the priority should be to stop him...
...and we see Crichton heading after Durka with Chiana's oar-like weapon in his hands. Crichton catches up with Durka, who's not in the birthing chamber but the transport hangar. He shoots at Crichton a couple times, and then gets into the Nebari ship and powers it up. Crichton yells that he won't get far without his propulsion system, which is sitting in pieces in the maintenance bay, but Durka declares his intention to fire the ship's weapons into Moya's midsection, killing the baby and thereby restoring starburst. I don't really see how giving Moya a gaping gut wound is going to immediately restore her back to her full capacity, which I guess must mean that I'm not psychotic. That's surprising. Crichton rushes to open Rygel's case of explosives as he urgently instructs Pilot to regain control in order to open the outer doors. Pilot succeeds in regaining some amount of control as Durka powers up his ship's weapons. Just then, though, Crichton pulls out an explosive and holds it up like he's a contestant on Bowling For Dollars. (And if that reference means anything to you, you can email me.) Anyway, Crichton rolls the charge into the hangar and yells to Pilot to shut the doors. The charge explodes, and Pilot happily tells us that the outer doors are opening. Durka impotently flails about inside the ship as the vacuum from the doors opening sucks a DRD into the hangar. Those things really need to start a union, because I'm not seeing that they get a whole lot of benefits around here. Pilot succeeds in getting the inside doors to start closing, but by that time Crichton is already being pulled toward them. He manages to avoid being pulled completely in by holding Chiana's oar horizontally, which has the virtue of being longer than the width of the space between the doors. Zhaan frantically tells Pilot to stop the doors from shutting, and I know she's afraid that Crichton's going to get crushed, but still, remind me never to go on a road trip with her in the back seat. Crichton, using the oar, pulls himself back into the bay, which is completely preposterous, but I appreciate anything that really causes him to use his muscles. Eventually, of course, Crichton pulls himself to safety, and Durka's ship gets sucked out of Moya. Over the comm, Durka threatens to hunt Crichton down and kill him, to which Crichton merely laughs and responds, "Get in line." Hee. He adds that Durka should give the Nebari his regards, and we get a very cool shot of Durka yelling Crichton's name as he hurtles off helplessly into the far regions of space. Since he seems so much to get off on irony, he'd probably appreciate it if he ended up on Earth.