Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Guineas and goombahs and wops, oh my!
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.23.2002
Let mind and body soar
To heights not reached before;
Let limits stretch
That you may catch
A new truth to explore.
The slampiece makes an hilarious "uh-huhh" sound as he mock-shudders. "I don't feel any different," he notes eventually. Piper calls from below, leading Raige to hop to her feet in search of a place to hide the slampiece. She makes it halfway across the room before Glenn stops her by elongating his arm to rest a hand on her shoulder. Glenn's arm is now about fifteen feet long. Now, I realize I'm a rank amateur as far as magic spells are concerned, but what in the hell is turning him into Stretch Gordon supposed to accomplish? Why would they have that spell in the damn Book? What twisted, kinky "truth" is one meant to "explore" with this ability? On second thought, don't answer that. I really don't want to know.
Great. I just grossed myself out. Ew.
In any case, Raige and Glenn goggle a bit before he retracts his arm. Upon Piper's entrance, Raige lames that she was just giving the slampiece a tour, and pushes Glenn out of the room. Piper notices the BoS lying open on the settee and, grasping gently in both hands whatever self-control and patience she might have left, grits, "You showed him the Book?" Raige relates the sordid tale of errant potion ingredients in the fridge and whatnot. Piper and the Dolt smack her around for not locking the attic. Raige cuts through the crap to restate her opinion that Glenn can be trusted to keep his mouth shut. Piper loses it: "You're trusting him with a secret that is all of ours, not just yours." Raige asks, "So, you're asking me to choose between having any friends at all and being a witch?" Piper: "Yes! I have!" Snicker. The Dolt orders the ladies to calm down. He sends them off to Arthur Andersen's House Of Magical Accounting and orbs back to the Toilet Of Justice to check on Phoebe. Piper and Raige glower at each other for a bit before exiting.
Palace Of Justice. Phoebe lectures the captive United Colors Of Jury Duty on the history of magic in the world. Revenant Ben has had enough. He demands one final vote. If they can't agree, he'll inform the judge that the jury has hung. Phoebe leaps to her feet to prevent this, shrieking about angels and fairies and Cupid. Revenant Ben glares at her for a moment before calling for the bailiff. Ben asks the bailiff to have the judge remove Phoebe and replace her with one of the alternates. Which, were I the damn foreman, I'd have done hours ago. Phoebe offers them all a deal: If she can prove the existence of "supernatural" magic to them all, they'll agree to acquit. If she fails in this, she'll agree to convict. Phoebe asks the bailiff to procure five white candles and some incense and sage. "I'm going to summon the dead," she promises. Tanya makes a "no she di'int!" face. The Wop waves his cigar hand around and says, "Oooh!" Phoebe sits silently and photogenically chews her thumbnail.