Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Guineas and goombahs and wops, oh my!
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.23.2002
Manor. Piper and Raige enter the foyer and veer off into the parlor as Glenn sneaks down the main stairs behind them. As he hides in the dining room, Piper bemoans the fact that, while they have Guinea Wike's confession on tape, there is little hope of exonerating Stan Stan The Salmon Man without knowing where Wike is. Glenn chooses this moment to grope Raige's ass by surreptitiously extending his arm. Raige yips in surprise. Piper glares and demands to know what gives. Without looking, Glenn extends his arm again and ends up with a handful of Piper's ankle. Angst and recriminations. "You cast a spell on him?" Piper howls. Raige and Glenn mumble excuses, but Piper's not having it. She freezes Glenn and continues to tear into Raige, bringing up the circumstances surrounding the death of The Late Lamented as she does so. The Dolt orbs into the middle of this with news of Phoebe's latest cunning plan. She intends to call back Angie Provolone from The Great Beyond to set the jury straight on her murder. Raige is outraged when she hears the details. It's okay for Phoebe to reveal their secret to an entire jury, but she's still catching shit for telling the slampiece? The Dolt shouts her down. The mitigating factors in Phoebe's situation allow for such an action. The problem, as the Dolt reveals, is that summoning the dead requires The Power Of Three. Piper's uneasy with the whole idea, but relents when she stumbles across a cunning plan of her own to supplement Phoebe's. Piper unfreezes Glenn, who makes appropriate "guh?" noises upon noting the presence of the Dolt. Raige tells him to sit tight and order a pizza while she leaves with the others to assist Phoebe. The Ps plus the Dolt orb out as Glenn gapes up at the ceiling. Unbeknownst to him, Ratman in rat form has scritched his way down the stairs behind him. The Ratcam closes in on Glenn's heels before the shot cuts away.
Palace Of Justice. Night has fallen, and the United Colors Of Jury Duty grumble impatiently as Phoebe recites the following over an array of candles:
Beloved spirit Angela,
I seek your guidance.
I ask that you commune with me
And move among us.
Nothing happens. Revenant Ben shouts for the bailiff to have him inform the judge that they've reached a verdict. Tanya offers to hit the lights as The Wop rises to stretch. Phoebe babbles out the spell once more in desperation. Meanwhile, Piper cracks open the door to The Toilet Of Justice and twists her hand in the direction of the United Colors. All of the jurors freeze. Piper enters to rip Phoebe a new one for exposing them all as witches to the California court system. Phoebe splutters that Stan Stan The Salmon Man is being "persecuted" for having the same power of premonition as she, and she can't let him go to jail. Piper shuts her up with the revelation that she and Raige will help her summon the dead bookkeeper. Raige and the Dolt are surprised to hear this. Piper proposes that the Dolt sprinkle "magic dust" on the United Colors Of Jury Duty after they've rendered a verdict of not guilty, thereby wiping out their short-term memories. "Magic dust"? Jesus. The Tinkerbell association will only further the assumption that the Dolt is a little light in his loafers. Raige wonders why the Dolt doesn't use this power of his more often. He explains that "magic dust" (snerk) is reserved for only the most dire of situations, as one has no control over which memories one is erasing. The dust recipient might forget something important yet unrelated to the memory in question, such as an appointment or a birthday. Piper overrules the Dolt's reservations, as she "cannot live with [the United Colors] knowing [their] secret, knowing that at any minute [the Ps] would have to relive the hell [they] went through with [the Late Lamented]." The Dolt ponders this for a moment, then agrees.