Episode Report Card Maggie: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Booby traps and ballistics
By Maggie | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.01.2000
At her apartment, Felicity is on the phone pleading to speak with Randy. She leaves another desperate message. She concludes the call and flops down on her bed.
Sean returns to the loft to discover Ben trying to make a cake. Ben asks how it went at the doctor's, and Sean tells him about the infection and the prescription. Ben thinks "that sucks," and Sean changes the subject to doing a "man on the street, like vox populi," segment in the Docuventary. Ben repeats vox populi, and Sean asks if he knows what that means. Ben admits that he doesn't, and he tells Sean that Meghan came by earlier to talk. It seems that she thinks Sean's fooling around on her because he doesn't want to have sex. Ben asks if he's going to inform Meghan of what's going on. Sean says he isn't because it's embarrassing and "the last thing a girl wants to hear is that a guy has got problems with his package. Trust me." No, trust me, Sean, a girlfriend would want to know. And remember what I said earlier about not being able to talk about certain things? That applies here, too. He leaves, and Ben goes back to his cake batter.
We get to see the Felicititties photo again as the titular character yells, "Omigod!" She screeches, "How can they do that? Is that legal to do that?" Knoll says, "Apparently. Fraternities do this kind of stuff all the time. You really don't remember anything that happened?" She whines about having to tell Ben, and Knoll offers to delete it from his e-mail. Felicity starts simpering about having to tell Ben until Knoll convinces her not to do it tonight because Ben has something planned for her birthday. Felicity doesn't think she can hold off telling him, but Knoll pleads with her to reconsider.
At the loft, the gang is making punch and balloon animals and doing other party preparations. Sean has his camera going, and he gets Molly to wish Felicity a happy birthday. She babbles something about Felicity being proof that not all Scorpios are vengeful. Over at the kitchen counter, Meghan corners Ben with tales of her having crabs when she was dating a performance artist. Ben grabs his head and says that he doesn't "need those details." He tries to convince her that Sean is not cheating on her, but she's dubious. Ben takes the cake out of the oven, and it is charred, so he dumps it in the garbage. The bell rings, and Ben thinks it is the ribs, but it is Javier, who has come with loads of food because he has a "sixth sense for cooking disasters." There's a knock at the door, and it's Knoll, who is carrying a case of Samuel Adams beer. There's another knock, which causes Ben to do a little dance because it has to be the ribs this time. It is, and the delivery guy gets him to sign for a small package. Ben asks if there's not another box for him on the truck, and the delivery guy assures him that there is not. Ben rips open the box to find a cookbook and no ribs. Knoll says that it isn't his fault, and Ben says that he has to go and takes off. Javier swings into action and states, "This is called a thirty-minute miracle meal. What I need is a list of ingredients that is available for me to use, okay? And please, clear off all this clutter. Too much knick-knacky stuff, okay? And president Coad, put on some music. Nothing like classic rock, no BTO."