Episode Report Card Maggie: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Booby traps and ballistics
By Maggie | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.01.2000
Knoll arrives at the door of his first tech-support customer, and the guy -- who looks like Albert from Little House on the Prairie complete with a bad haircut straight out of the 1800s -- says, "Please tell me you're here to save me from computer hell." Okay, drama queen, much? Knoll sits down at a desk with a tangerine iBook on it and says, "So, you're a composer?" Albert says, "Supposedly, until this thing decided to eat my entire chamber piece, which - hello -- does anybody write chamber music anymore?" Hello, Albert? No one cares about the answer to that question. Albert then busies himself with clearing away books and clothes while Knoll drones, "Well, don't worry, there's no such thing as a truly deleted file, unless you, y'know, reformatted your drive." Albert claims that if Knoll can fix it, he's some kind of a miracle worker, and he picks up his violin and starts to play it. Knoll thinks that Albert and his iBook have picked up a virus. Albert continues to tunelessly torture his instrument while eyeing Knoll intently. He asks Knoll if he used to have blonde streaks in his hair. Knoll mumbles something about trying it out, and Albert gushes that Knoll looks better without them. Knoll discovers that the virus is from spam that the entire college received. He opens the message to find a photo of Felicity and Randy. They're both topless and laughing, and her arm and his ping-pong paddle are strategically covering her breasts. Above the photo is, "WHO KNOWS HOW TO PARTY!!" and below is, "GO, BETA, THETA XI!!!" Albert is disgusted to see such a display on his computer and disses the "stupid fraternity." Knoll catches flies with his wide-open mouth.
Here's the Visa Checkcard commercial with the guy who can only afford to get "I Love Don" tattooed on his arm. Yes, people who get totally unimaginative tattoos should always have ready cash. I fully believe that if there is a hell, Adam Sandler will be there, regardless of his participation in Little Nicky. Mandy Moore shills for the Neutrogena Acne Patch. Toddlers frolic operatically for Huggies diapers. Omigod, there's an ad for the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas on video and DVD. Oh, the irony.
In a school corridor, Richard is handing out flyers for free pizza and a town-hall meeting on Friday. Elena and Molly are reading their flyers, and Molly thinks it's a good idea. When Richard overhears her, he introduces himself. Molly explains that she's Elena's new housemate. The ever-tactful Richard replies, "Ooh, you're the redcoat that drove Julie away." Elena barks, "Richard!" to which he responds, "Hey, all I'm saying is she's here, Julie's gone." Molly says that she has to run to her "American rhetoric class." That comment flies directly over Richard's head, and he runs after Elena and declares, "Now that is a woman." Elena says, "As if you would know." Richard says, "Buxom, fashionably attired, passionate about politics. Can you make it happen?" Elena asks what he means, and he states that he wants to date Molly. It seems fairly improbable, given his love affair with Knoll and his general distaste for females. Elena must be thinking what I'm thinking because she says no.