Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Like sands through my beer glass
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.07.2002
Quantum asks why Osama's telling him all this, and Osama explains that the Torothans have ten times the fighting power they do, and they won't last without Quantum's help. Trip looks weirded out, and Quantum doesn't see how a team of explorers can help a warlord. Osama Bin Dribblin' laughs and says, "They said you would be humble. But I scanned your vessel -- you have an arsenal of powerful weapons. But more importantly, I need your wisdom." Again, Quantum takes the compliment and doesn't ask who the hell "they" are who are telling Osama Bin Dribblin' such blithering drivel. Osama goes on to say that they need Quantum as a strategizer, and that he and all of his men would be "honored" to fight alongside him. Here, Osama Bin Dribblin' bows his head. This episode is my worst nightmare -- all of Quantum's self-importance about how other civilizations should comport themselves legitimized by Osama Bin Dribblin'. Distant explosions sound, and Trip asks, "What the hell was that?" Osama Bin Dribblin' explains, "Torothan cruisers, usually they begin their bombardment after dark. They're getting started early today." Osama Bin Dribblin' takes down a fake tapestry to reveal a stash of weapons, and a bunch of Chin Dribblin's come in to collect them. Quantum speaks up, saying he doesn't know what Osama Bin Dribblin' has heard about him, but he thinks he's been misled. "Thinks"?? Osama Bin Dribblin' asks, "What about the Suliban?" Quantum plays dumb. "You liberated a detention camp -- freed thousands of prisoners," Osama Bin Dribblin' tells him. Trip wants to know who told him that, and Osama Bin Dribblin' tells him that a Suliban transport captain told him all about "a great warrior" who defeated an entire army. Neither Quantum nor Trip have gone out of their way to correct his math and enlighten him that it was only about eighty prisoners they liberated; plus, it wasn't all Quantum's doing. A Chin Dribblin' comes in to inform his leader, sans the Watto-Rhys-Davies-Blessed accent, that two Torothan cruisers are in their midst. Osama Bin Dribblin' tells him to prepare his ship, informs Quantum and Trip that this attack won't last more than a few hours, and ushers them into a basement hole. Trip says they'd rather return to their ship, but Osama Bin Dribblin' tells him their thrusters would draw the Torothan fire. Osama insists on them taking cover, saying, "I wouldn't be a very good host if I allowed you to get killed." Well, that depends on who you're being a host to, I guess. For instance, if he were hosting me and he let them get killed…
Enterprise. Reed informs all and sundry of the strafing going on, and T'Pol instructs Hoshi to get the Captain on the phone. All they get back is static, and Hoshi reports that the whole area is flooded by jamming signals. Mulch-weather says, "Well, we can't just leave them down there. What about the transporter?" Reed says he can't isolate their bio-signs, and offers to take a sh'pod down to fetch them himself. T'Pol negates that idea, reminding him of the current assault, and tells Hoshi to call Chancellor Trellit.