Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Will Be Your Father Issues
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 04.15.2009
Miles gets out of the van and hands Horace's package to Radzinsky. Oh that's not what I mean, but I shuddered as I typed it, just the same. Oh, and again. Radzinsky whistles with his fingers, which, okay, might be his one good quality. I'm a great whistler, but I can't use my fingers, acorn caps, a blade of grass or other objects. I'm all about lips and tongue. But not here. Never here alone in the jungle. With the Radzinsky beast.
As Radzinsky unwraps the package, which turns out to be a body bag, two men wearing hardhats come out of the brush, carrying a third on a stretcher, and that third is way dead. Miles is still asking questions even though Horace told him not to, but the only explanation Radzinsky will give him for extreme dead guy is that he "had an accident. [...] He fell in a ditch." Miles looks at the exit wound on dead guy's forehead. "The ditch had a gun?" Hee. My Miles love continues apace. Radzinsky reminds Miles that all that ought to matter to him is to do as he's told. The two hard-hatted guys load the body into the back of the van and Radzinky instructs Miles to take the body back to Horace, "now." Once Radzinsky and his lackeys disappear into the jungle, Miles leans over the seat and removes the tarp they've laid over the body bag, unzips the bag and takes a good look at the corpse. I wonder, idly, if he could be Sayid's brother, but that's just crazy talk, since it's 1977. Then Miles asks extreme dead guy, "Okay, so what really happened?" Dun!
Mainland; Sometime in the 1990s: Miles knocks at the door of apartment #7 in the same complex he and his mom toured in 1985. Surely Lara Chang (or Straume; and wouldn't "Chang" actually be the better name to use if you're hiding out in Cali?) didn't rent a place in that dump after her little boy was so traumatized, there? Oh wait, she did, because -- look at him. His hair is sticking straight up and he's bleached two pure white streaks up the back of it. Anyone else seeing Pepe Le Pew there, or is it just me?
An angry looking white woman opens the door, and Miles says, "I need to see her." I get that, Miles, but I need to tally up your piercings, first: three on the chin; one nostril; two in the left eyebrow; and maybe four in the left ear and three in the right ear, but the ears are too hard to call. Holy holey, Batman. If I count the naturally occurring holes in your head, I'm pretty sure I could use it to strain pasta. If you're pierced anywhere else, I don't want to know. Sensitive recapper's sensitive body parts are...sensitive.
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